(Closed) Sigh, I think I just delayed it

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 I hope you guys work it out and get back on track ASAP!

Post # 4
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but I think it’s a bit controlling of him to delay the engagement because you got in a spat. Especially if he was going to propose soon.

Couples argue, then they make up. It happens. As long as it wasn’t a knock down drag out or a fight over some core issue (children, no children, etc), then I don’t see why it should delay the engagement.

Post # 5
529 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry that is so hard. Were you guys fighting about the engagement? Hopefully it was just one of those heat of the moment remarks. Apologize for your half of the fight and let him calm down I’m sure it will be fine.

Post # 6
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@pharmy:  Agreed. It’s very manipulative if he was planning on proposing. “Act nice or you don’t get the ring for longer!” yuck. 

More likely, he wasn’t planning on proposing soon (sorry!) and is using the fight was a scapegoat. I find that far more likely. 

Post # 7
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It really depends on what the two of you were arguing about.  There’s not enough detail in the post to say if he’s being manipulative or not. 

Post # 8
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@pharmy:  I think he’s justified if the fight was caused by something that could be a legit problem in their relationship and wasn’t fully resolved. Of course if it was about something unrelated and petty, then yeah, he’s in the wrong. 

OP, I’m very sorry, but if there’s something that needs to be resolved first, it might be for the best. Good luck! 

Post # 9
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry you two fought last night, but I don’t think you should worry about it too much, unless the fight was over something major.  People get heated during an arguement and say things they don’t mean.  I’m sure in a few days things will be back in order, so don’t get too discouraged just yet.  If it helps after things cool down, you can both sit down and talk or have a night date night to make up for it.

Post # 10
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Sounds like it was an empty threat to make you feel bad

Post # 11
370 posts
Helper bee

maybe he was just angry when he said it. hopefully everything gets resolved *hugs*

Post # 12
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with a lot of the PP…we need more context. If you guys had a fight about a big issue (future children, money, movign in if youre not already living together, religious beliefs…) then it may be slightly justified, though you should both sit down together and discuss that like adults. Have a mature conversation about how some major issues came up in your fight that affect you both and whether or not you should wait to move forward until these issues are resolved. It should be a discussion though, it is your life too.

If it was merely a disagreement gone wrong, I will only say oen thing: engagement and your future otgether shoudl NOT be something that if used a blackmail. And if this is how he uses it, then maybe you should do some serious thinking, I know I would.

Either way, I hope you guys firgure it together and grow as a couple, engagement or no engagement 🙂

Post # 13
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sounds pretty manipulative. my Fiance and I got in a little spat a few hours before he planned to propsed. We made up and he still proposed. 

Post # 14
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

It seems Like he has given lots ofreasons to postpone. Maybe he is being manipulative, or maybe he’s just not ready to be engaged but feels pressured.  You haven’t been together all that long right?

The topic ‘Sigh, I think I just delayed it’ is closed to new replies.

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