(Closed) *sigh* no more planning…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Forgive me because I don’t know the issue with your sister, but why is your sisters plans a problem?

I think you are making a smart decision by delaying the wedding. Be proud of that.  Keep looking. It could happen tomorrow. If your Fiance didnt know it was a commission only job, is that because he didnt do his research? Or because they were misleading. I would imagine he hired an offer letter or an employment contract. Check to see if its on there. If its not, then you has recourse to ask for his old job back.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough week.

Post # 4
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m really sorry for what you’re going through, but I just wanted to say – I’ve been there.

I have been together with my boy for 4 years and we wanted to get engaged/married within the first year. It was literally just finances that stalled us. Delaying it was really the best thing we could do and although it was hard and it made me REALLY resent our financial circumstances even more… it was the right choice.

We’re only just finding our feet now and have gotten engaged and hope to be married next year (again, finances depending). It’s been hard to wait… but it’s very much worth it.

The important thing is that you have your man. You have a man who you are going to be with through thick and thin, the good times and the not so good (like right now perhaps). And as wonderful as it is to be married and “official” and have a wedding, at the end of the day having HIM is the most important thing.

And your time for the wedding will come and when it does and you stand up there to exchange your vows, you will know that you really have loved one another already through better and worse and richer and poorer etc. That’s one thing we are very proud of.

I wish you all the very best in finding a job and making it through this difficult time.

Post # 5
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry about having to postpone your wedding. You mentioned not being able to afford any hobbies, but I’m sure you’ll want to find ways to fill up your time. Have you thought of finding a steady volunteer option? Can you help out at the nursing home or a school or meals on wheels? Making connections and helping others while you’re in between jobs may help pick you up from the funk and make the time go faster. As the other PP have said, it’s a smart decision you’re making, and I wish you the best of luck in the job search. 

Post # 7
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well…look at it this way. She’s 17 and pregnant. It’s not really ideal. She’s going to have a hard life. Do your grandparents really want her to get married because she’s in love or because she’s knocked up?

Just keep chugging along, saving money where you can, cutting back where you can, and it’ll all come together.

You could throw a very, very inexpensive wedding if you wanted to.

Post # 8
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

You could have a courthouse wedding. Then throw the “reception” when you have the money?

Post # 10
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

Where are you looking for a job? What field? How hard are you trying to find a job? I say this only because I know that when I was unemployed, I spent too much time just feeling sorry for myself and posting on forums, perhaps? Take charge and keep your head up and GO GET A JOB ! Hell, babysit if you have to. Then sit your fiance down and tell him “I want to marry you, let’s go to the courthouse. Once we saved enough, we will have our dream wedding !”. As for your sister, how can you be jealous of your own sister?

Post # 11
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’m so sorry you have to postpone your wedding! while jealousy of your sister is understandable, keep reminding yourself that her situation is far from ideal. 17 and pregnant leads to a very hard life. start saving whatever you can now (seriously, even if it’s just $5 a week), and soon enough you’ll be building a wedding fund.

if you really want to get married now, have a courthouse ceremony with your family, then have a potluck reception at someone’s house. it will still be a very nice, loving celebration!

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I second the idea of a courthouse ceremony followed by big reception later. Also in terms of hobbies, not all of them involve money.. do you like writing? because you could start a blog about anything that takes your interest. keeping up a blog can actually be quite time consuming after a while. And as depressing as it may become after a while you should to send out applications everyday if possible. When I was job hunting I would stalk monster.com/ careerbuilder and many other sites from sunrise to sunset,

Post # 14
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@XxMyXxDecemberXx: It’s not that difficult to find “anything”. Are you shooting for too much $?

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but I’d say your issues with your sister are perhaps clouding your thinking a little? She’s not stealing your thunder, she’s 17 and pregnant and to be honest it would only be right that she would be the priority right now. I know that doesn’t make it any easier for you with everything you’re going through, but a little perspective may be good for you.

A delayed wedding isn’t going to impact your entire life. It just means that your wedding day is on hold. Your relationship isn’t. Your life isn’t. That one special day is. And this gives you time to save up and plan it to be just the way you want it to be – with or without help from your parents.

I hope that you find a job really soon and that at least some of the financial stress/pressure is eased for you, as I know that’s probably the hardest thing.

Post # 16
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The “job sites” usually aren’t very good, except for indeed.com which aggregates them all. Have you considered food service? It’s a very high turnover industry and they are usually accepting applications. There are nicer places like Panera’s you could try. They hire 16-year-olds but the kids can only do night shifts this time of year due to school. They need people during the day, too.

Also, TRY RETAIL. They are hiring like crazy for temporary workers. JC Penney alone is hiring 45,000 extra employees for the season I think. I am considering getting a temp second job myself for the holiday season. Sure it’s temporary, and retail during Christmas is hellish but it’s $$ and if you do a good job who knows where it could lead.

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