Post # 1
I’ll preface this by saying I have *fortunately* already had a really positive dress shopping experience. A few weeks ago I went with my mom & 3 BMs to a salon in my city and had an amazing experience – tried on a few really gorgeous dresses, felt beautiful and happy overall. But I didn’t find “the one”.
So I decided to try another salon in a city nearby that had a few different designers. They advertise on their website that nobody ever needs an appointment, so my BMs and I decided to go after work on a Wednesday around 6 (they close at 8) to hopefully hit them at a non-busy time.
The place was impressive – lots of space, reminded me of the salons on SYTTD – and the dress selection was great… til I got into the sizes. They had the TINIEST section for dress samples over size 12 and there weren’t many in the styles I’m looking for. I have really wide hips, so I have trouble with anything in a fit-n-flare or mermaid style and look mostly at ballgowns and A-lines. I really want a gorgeous ballgown with a lot of back detail and a longish train because I have a long aisle and the ability for a photographer from above so I want the drama.
Anyway… there were 2 girls on the sales floor, almost nobody in the store and we were pretty much ignored the whole time. The girls took dresses and put them in a room for me, but it was pulling teeth for anything else. Whereas at the other place I’d been assigned one person to help me get dresses on and stuff, the girls at this place just… wandered. And talked to each other. At one point I asked if I could try a veil with a dress I really liked and the girl walked over to the rack, handed me one then walked away. She didn’t ask what type I’d like to try (there were dozens) or stick around to see if I liked it.
And the “compliments” were the worst. I’m a BIG girl. I’ve been working so hard to lose weight, but it’s coming very slow and I am still very large. I understand that, but after having such an incredibly positive experience at a salon with similar quality and designers, I wasn’t expecting to feel so… fat. Stupid. Unwanted. The girl kept wandering over to say things like “You look great!” “That is sooooo pretty!” in a falsely cheery voice and I felt really patronized. She clearly had zero interest in me or how I looked/felt.
I didn’t have anyone helping me with dresses, so I got stuck at one point which was really humiliating. My Bridesmaid or Best Man helped me get out of the dress, but I felt so bad at that point that I decided to just leave. I shouldn’t have gone at all, I know that, I should keep waiting until I lose enough weight to feel good about trying dresses. But I *know* most of the dresses I was looking at wistfully come in larger sizes – I’ve seen as much on the designer’s sites.
Sorry for the pity party, I just don’t know where else to go to talk about this and I feel like I need to because it’s really affecting me.
Post # 3
That’s horrible! If you guys need a ladies weekend there’s a plus size boutique in the DC/Baltimore area called Curvaceous that is absolutely fabulous! They carry designers that would normally cater to the size 00 crowd, but also extend their lines up to a 28W-32W. There’s something for everyone. It’s family run (sisters, mom, cousins, etc) and the ladies there are super nice. I don’t know if you have anything like this up your way, but it might be something to check into.
Post # 4
There is absolutely no excuse for that. I would call and complain to the salon manager. They should know how their sales staff are treating potential customers.
I’m so sorry you went through that. You will find something WONDERFUL, that makes you look and feel beautiful, trust me 🙂
Post # 5
((HUGS)) That sucks! Some people are just so rude and stupid. I’m so sorry that happened to you! Good grief, you would think since they work on commission they’d have better sense than to treat a customer with money to spend so badly.
I was scared shitless going to try on wedding gowns, not because of my size, but because of my age! I’m 44 and not a first time bride. I was lucky that I got a very nice salesgirl to help me and after about 6-8 dresses she found THE ONE. But at first I was shaking like a leaf. She really helped calm me down by being genuinely nice, complimentary and friendly. And helpful.
Nobody should have to put up with that crap. It’s nerve-wracking enough to have to try on wedding dresses in the first place, even if you’re a 20-year-old-Barbie-doll-bride. And how many of them are there? Not the majority by any means.
This might warrant a call to their management. I would think whoever runs that place would hate to hear of such poor customer service. SMH.
Good luck on your dress quest! The right one is out there.
Post # 6
@Mrs.Darling: Oh wow, that sounds like an amazing place. Idk if I can afford a trip like that in the near future, but perhaps later this summer. Thank you for the tip!
@sara_tiara: I’m considering a complaint, maybe not by phone because I’m terrible on the phone but possibly by email or something. It was ridiculous how much they ignored us. By the end, one girl left so the other started being a little more attentive (but only somewhat).
Post # 7
@MissCalifornia: I know how you feel-I am awful on the phone, and I also have the worst trait, wherein I cry when I get super angry, so in this case I would start crying….which REALLY does not get across the message of how angry you are.
I had a bad bridal salon experience and since my Maid/Matron of Honor was with me, I had her call. The manager was totally embarassed. In this economy no one can afford to be throwing away business like that.
I think an email complaint is a great idea.
Post # 8
So sorry to hear you were treated that way. That’s so horrible. Why would anyone ever feel the need to treat someone else poorly? I can’t believe she just handed you a veil and then let your friends help you out of the dresses and only offered fake/patronising compliments. What kind of customer service is that? I agree with Sunfire (hello sunfire 🙂 ) that you should consider a complaint. Nobody should be treated that way and hopefully management would be appalled at hearing someone was made to feel that way in their store.
I’m positive you will find your perfect dress and look smashing and the shots from the top sound great! Can’t wait to see pics! Don’t let this awful experience get you down.
Post # 9
Hugs. That’s so awful that those sales girls made you feel that way. So not cool! I would call or email and let the manager or owner know about your experience and that it’s not okay for potential customers to be treated that way. ESPECIALLY when it’s the biggest/most important piece of clothing a woman will wear 🙂 I feel like sales people at bridal salons should be taught an etiquette class before they start on the floor sometimes! lol.
Don’t be discouraged by this experience, it seems like you have still have some time to find a dress that is perfect for you. When I went to a bridal boutique the first time, I called ahead and asked about their sample sizes, I was lucky because this place carried alot of plus sizes – not everyone is a size 6 thank you very much! I was super nervous about fitting into sample dresses or getting stuck in them. I think this happens to everyone though btw, my one girlfriend who is a skinny mini got stuck in a dress and it took both her sisters to get her out of it.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry you went through that. The best revenge = buy elsewhere! Don’t let them get you down. I 2nd the email complaint!
Post # 11
” I shouldn’t have gone at all, I know that, I should keep waiting until I lose enough weight to feel good about trying dresses. But I *know* most of the dresses I was looking at wistfully come in larger sizes – I’ve seen as much on the designer’s sites.Â “
Don’t ever think this way. Big girls deserve to try on dresses too, whether we are losing weight or happily keeping the weight on.
Why so many salons fail to realize that there are men who are very happy to marry fat women and that fat women are just as deserving of love as thinner women, I have no idea.
Post # 12
@sara_tiara: Yeah I do kinda wish my Maid/Matron of Honor had been there. She’s a very direct person and probably would’ve gotten on them in the store.
@nanacholito: I’m hoping the photos from the one dress I really did like there came out well. The other salon I went to previously carries the designer as well, so I’ll likely see if they have it for my follow-up appointment so I don’t have to go back to the bad salon.
@jlc3: I’m going to send the manager an email tonight, once I’ve collected my thoughs. Calling ahead is a good idea, I think I’ll do that the next time I go to a new salon.
@ThingsThatShine: Yeah, that’s what bothers me the most. My size shouldn’t keep me from ordering the expensive designer gown I want. They make them in my size, so you should cater to me and help me find something at least similar to work with so I’ll place that expensive order that I really want to make. Boggles my mind.
Post # 13
Post # 14
@MissCalifornia: Oh no, I am so sorry you had a terrible experience!!! (I was really afraid of that too). But I have to disagree with one part, where you say, “I shouldn’t have gone at all, I know that, I should keep waiting until I lose enough weight to feel good about trying dresses.”
NO! You should be able to go whenever you want, and feel comfortable and welcome at the store–it is their JOB to help you and to assure that you feel good (and not in a fake, patronizing way).
I hope that you start to feel better, but it is NOT you! You are beautiful and working hard, it’s just a shame that lazy, bitchy girls ruined your night. 🙁
Post # 15
I’m so sorry that happened to you! What a bunch of twits. Definitely write a letter of complaint. I hope they get their stuck-up butts handed to them by the store owner.
Agreed with the PPs who said you should go dress shopping whenever you want to no matter your size, and you should expect to be treated well! You’re no less of a bride than a size 2, and you’re no less beautiful.
“And the ‘compliments’ were the worst. I’m a BIG girl. I’ve been working so hard to lose weight, but it’s coming very slow and I am still very large. I understand that…”
I hope I just read this wrong, but please don’t think you’re any less worthy of genuine compliments because you’re plus size. I don’t care what anybody says, plus size isn’t ugly. I refuse to accept that ridiculous notion society pushes on us, and so should you. I bet you rocked those dresses even without their “help,” and the one you ultimately choose will be stunning!
Post # 16
I had the EXACT same experience with my first bridal appointment. And to top it off when I tried to get out of the shop by saying that I had really been looking for a pink dress, the attendant offered me to try on a dress from out the back that belonged to another bride. I made some stupid excuse about my baby son being tired, and cut and ran out of there as quickly as I could. She was just so rude, gave me no help in getting intro dresses, didnt have much abouve standard sample sizing, and didnt really even care about the style I tired to tell her I weas after.
I didnt go back.
I went to Sydney (2 hour drive) and by accident came across a salon that was friendly, helpful and had an awesome range.
My advice is to move and and try somewhere else. You will find your dress, and you don’t need to put up with snotty nosed sales assistants to do so.