Post # 1
I love my FH dearly. I know we have kind of a short wedding planning time, but that’s okay, cos we’re having a casual kind of wedding. We got engaged New Year’s Eve (almost 2 months ago) and are getting married July 17th. He’s a casual kinda dude, and when I’ve asked for opinions on various bits of wedding needs, he’s given an opinion, but I’ve had to ask for it. Pretty much, he’d love to show up and that’s all, but he’s also found out he DOES have opinions and that I want them.
But the one thing I cannot get him to do/commit on/declare/give a vague idea on? His Best Man. We’re not having any other bridal party members other than my Best Chick (aka Matron of Honor) and his Bridesmaid or Best Man. I’ve gently asked if he’s picked someone, and gotten the ol’ gruntshrug. I’ve asked if he’s -thought- of anyone and get the blanklook.And no, I don’t ask on a daily basis. Once every 2 weeks or so is the most frequent.
I love the boy, but I’m about to start beating my head into a nearly table the next time I ask him about this.
And then there’s the whole “what to wear for the guys” thing that I’m not EVEN touching for a while after the first blanklookshrug I got a couple of weeks ago. /highpitchedwhinynoise
/sigh And normally I’m not this frustrated with him! Normally, it’s easy to figure out what he wants/likes!
I swear I love him, I swear! ^^;
Post # 3
Oh @Nightravyn, how I hear you. lol
Do you think it’s that he has NO idea who to choose or that he just thinks that it’s something that can be done a month or so before? Are you guys doing a lot of the traditional shower, bachelor party stuff?
Also, as your date is coming up pretty fast (weird how the wedding world seems to make things move so quickly), you could try to impress upon him that he needs to make sure that the guy he wants to stand up with him is actually available on July 17th…and probably the day before (at least).
Love has nothing to do with it. lol Some guys just don’t get it (the wedding planning and execution thing) and have to be gently told. 🙂
Post # 4
Fiance didn’t decide on all of his groomsmen until about a month ago (over a year into our engagement and 2 months before the wedding)
I was constantly on him to make a decision so that we could get those people fitted for tuxes, purchase gifts, and get a rehearsal dinner invitation list to his parents.
What ended up getting to him (I think) is that I brought up the fact that the guys needed to have time to prepare for the costs associated with attire & accomodations. It really wasn’t fair to put them in a situation where they couldn’t plan for these things.
Could you mention that you were hoping to finalize attire and pass along purchase/rental information to the BC and Bridesmaid or Best Man by the end of March? In the end I think your FH will take care of it when he is ready. Trust me, I know how frustrating it is.
Post # 5
@ Arwenbride Ya know, I’m not sure if it’s he can’t think of who to choose, or if he thinks he can jsut ask someone 24 hours beforehand! Lol! Thankfully, we’re not really doing a lot of the traditional run-up to the wedding, like engagement pictures, etc. A close friend of my mother is giving me a bridal shower, but that’s about it. Some of his friends at his job, amusingly enough the girls, keep saying “Dude! how about strippers for your Bachlor party!” with him going “Dear lord NO! NO PARTY!” I know it’s made me giggle when they’ve brought it up. ::grin::
@ lampshade He used to do light construction, so I’m almost wondering if I need to make him a “punch list” complete with dates to have his “assignments” done by. Hee!
Post # 6
Lol, we believe that you love him!
I know how you feel- completely! Its frustrating and there may be more instances that he’ll be more lackadaisical than you’d like (if he’s anything at all like my FI). The approach that has worked best for me is to say something along the lines of, “babe, this wedding means a lot to me and making sure that everything goes right is important. I’m beginning to get a bit stressed, I’d really love for you to help me”. Even if you’re not stressed, it will most likely work. Because the men are aware that wedding planning can be stressful, they’re just waiting for the ‘bridezilla’ to come out so they’ll do anything to avoid it. This totally worked for my Fiance. I asked him to do a few things, like get his family/friends addresses that he’d “forgotten”, to ask his uncle if he’d do a reading, to pick his bridal party, to just remember what it is I’ve already freakin’ done for the wedding, etc. I was about to lose it one day. It was a culmination of things and I was very concerned that I was going to become the HULK. Instead, I cooled off and said what I suggested to say and things started happening, yay 🙂
Post # 7
AHHHHH!!! I’m glad to hear it isn’t just me then! We are super casual couple too and mostly I can roll with it…..BUT when he looked at me in all seriousness and said, “what do we need flowers for?” I almost blew a gasket!!!! Or maybe it was “gee, we don’t need to order too many invitations Honey, my family knows when the wedding is….” I mean really? Not send invites?
So, to give myself a chance to settle down, I have made a promise to myself NOT to discuss the wedding for a few days at least. Tonight will be night # 3 with NO wedding talk…….
Post # 8
Yey! We talked tonight, and I asked him if he hadn’t picked a Bridesmaid or Best Man cos he wasn’t sure who he wanted or something else. He finally admitted he HAD been thinking about it, but couldn’t figure out who he wanted. One is a friend of his at work that he’s gotten to be good buddies with, and another is a long-time friend of ours from online (who’s wife is my “Best Chick” and I’ve known them both for years).
Once he said he couldn’t decide between the two of them, I was able to breathe a little easier, knowing he’s having a hard time trying to pick. At the same time, I told him he needs to pick one -soon-, since Said Person needs to be prepared to get something to wear, etc. 😉 He nodded, and when I asked if he thought he could get someone picked by mid-March, you could see the wheels turning in his head. He said he could do that.
It’s like I was hoping: the former light-construction worker needed a “punch list” with jobs and dates! Woot! ::starts making plans for more to add to his “punch list” of wedding stuff::