(Closed) Sighing and wondering if I’m insane

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh @Nightravyn, how I hear you.  lol 

Do you think it’s that he has NO idea who to choose or that he just thinks that it’s something that can be done a month or so before?  Are you guys doing a lot of the traditional shower, bachelor party stuff?

Also, as your date is coming up pretty fast (weird how the wedding world seems to make things move so quickly), you could try to impress upon him that he needs to make sure that the guy he wants to stand up with him is actually available on July 17th…and probably the day before (at least). 

Love has nothing to do with it.  lol  Some guys just don’t get it (the wedding planning and execution thing) and have to be gently told.  🙂

Post # 4
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Fiance didn’t decide on all of his groomsmen until about a month ago (over a year into our engagement and 2 months before the wedding)

I was constantly on him to make a decision so that we could get those people fitted for tuxes, purchase gifts, and get a rehearsal dinner invitation list to his parents.

What ended up getting to him (I think) is that I brought up the fact that the guys needed to have time to prepare for the costs associated with attire & accomodations. It really wasn’t fair to put them in a situation where they couldn’t plan for these things.

Could you mention that you were hoping to finalize attire and pass along purchase/rental information to the BC and Bridesmaid or Best Man by the end of March? In the end I think your FH will take care of it when he is ready. Trust me, I know how frustrating it is.

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Lol, we believe that you love him! 

I know how you feel- completely!  Its frustrating and there may be more instances that he’ll be more lackadaisical than you’d like (if he’s anything at all like my FI).  The approach that has worked best for me is to say something along the lines of, “babe, this wedding means a lot to me and making sure that everything goes right is important.  I’m beginning to get a bit stressed, I’d really love for you to help me”.  Even if you’re not stressed, it will most likely work.  Because the men are aware that wedding planning can be stressful, they’re just waiting for the ‘bridezilla’ to come out so they’ll do anything to avoid it.  This totally worked for my Fiance.  I asked him to do a few things, like get his family/friends addresses that he’d “forgotten”, to ask his uncle if he’d do a reading, to pick his bridal party, to just remember what it is I’ve already freakin’ done for the wedding, etc.  I was about to lose it one day.  It was a culmination of things and I was very concerned that I was going to become the HULK.  Instead, I cooled off and said what I suggested to say and things started happening, yay 🙂

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

AHHHHH!!!  I’m glad to hear it isn’t just me then!  We are super casual couple too and mostly I can roll with it…..BUT when he looked at me in all seriousness and said, “what do we need flowers for?”  I almost blew a gasket!!!!  Or maybe it was “gee, we don’t need to order too many invitations Honey, my family knows when the wedding is….”  I mean really?  Not send invites?   Surprised

So, to give myself a chance to settle down, I have made a promise to myself NOT to discuss the wedding for a few days at least.  Tonight will be night # 3 with NO wedding talk…….

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