(Closed) Signs to cancel the wedding (but not our marriage!)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

That sucks, when it rains it pours!!!

I think an elopement might be the way to go, it certainly would take a way a lot of frustration, if you can forgo the feelings of having a wedding. You could still get a fab white dress for the at home reception. Would you do 2, since the families are from different areas, and your ILs are making a stink about leaving Chicago (which is crazy to me, I love to travel!)?

Post # 4
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

*hugs* I’m so sorry you’re going through this! When it rains, it pours, right? I don’t necessarily think you have to elope. Can you scale back your wedding at all? I mean, can you find a cheaper venue? Do you have to have a DJ? Can a friend bake your cake? There’s lots of ways to bring down the cost of a wedding (perhaps you’re already doing this), which may allow you to still have a wedding and take care of all your other financial obligations right now.

I’d say elope if that’s what you really want. If you feel relieved that all of these things have come up because they give you an excuse to elope, then go for it! Some people really don’t want to have a wedding (I used to be one of them), and it’s totally OK to elope. But if you feel like you just “have” to elope because of these financial issues, then I’d say try to scale back the cost of your wedding first. 

Hope everything works out! 

Post # 5
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Rock Hugger: I’d say breathe, breathe and get through it. My computer died on us a month before our wedding. If the stress level wasn’t enough, having the computer die on us at the time didn’t make it any easier. If you really want a wedding, have a wedding and work through the current stuff. You still have plenty of time until your wedding. You may not like me saying this, but this is regular life regardless of wedding, where expenses pile on at bad times. It’s not the first time or the last time either. I’d honestly soldier through this stuff now because those irratations won’t be there next year. Will you be sad if you don’t get a wedding, but an elopement and a backyard thing?

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should have a beautiful stress-free intimate elopement. Some of my photos from my wedding photog were of elopements. We seriously considered it, too. It’s such a cool thing to have that intimate moment with just you two and a couple of witnesses – so romantic!

Post # 7
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I obviously think that you should do whatever you want, but I also want to encourage you to think *really* long and hard about how you will feel 20 years down the road. I think that for many people, if they DO plan a big extranvagansa, they will be glad for it in the future, and hardly remember the stress.

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im so sorry. I can only imagine how much stress you are under with all of these things going wrong. But no matter what Future Mother-In-Law or anyone else says you should do what you and your Fiance want. If that is a backyard bbq wedding or eloping then do it, but dont do it just because at this moment you are stressed 🙂 Things will get better *hugs*

Post # 9
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh, man! That’s a lot at once.

If you think in the long run, a small, intimate BBQ would create less stress and you would enjoy it more since you would not be so frazzled over money, then go for it! But I suggest sleeping on the decision for a few days, maybe some things will iron out on their own and then you won’t be in such a frenzy. I am someone that thinks like you, though, and probably would view it as a sign. Think about it a few days and then go with your gut instinct. It’s always right!

Post # 11
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Also with the medical bills mainly dentist, they have payment programs like Care Credit to make it easier on you if you can’t pay it up front. Today, I just paid off $400 of an $800 eye doctor bill. It was for an eye surgery I had in June, so today, I found out where I stood with the payment after insurance. They were really cool about paying off a portion of it. We have some expenses right now thanks to a leaky condo building roof (yeah, special assessment!), damage from the storm, and damage from the tenants above us. So right now, expenses are hitting us too. You really have to roll with them, focus on the future, and deal with the present.  

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