(Closed) SIL acting jealous and competitive

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

Oh boy what a doozy! I can’t say I have much advise other than to just smile and nod. Don’t share things with her you are afraid she will copy and if you have to be around her just be polite.

There is not much you can do to change her actions, only they way you react to them.

Best of luck! Sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 5
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@beebea: People like that tend to be pretty noticeable….you say that your in-laws get on well with you and your family, so I don’t think they will be quick to think “oh yeah it is TOTALLY beebea’s fault!”  Your SIL probably thinks that she is doing a good job of hiding her true colors, but well, you see through it, I assume your husband does as well, and in all likelihood your in-laws probably can see that she is the scowling one if you’re being nice to her.  With people like that, they WANT to see you get upset, so if you keep your cool, my guess is that overtime she will cut back a little (not like she will return to being your best friend, but when she doesn’t get satisfaction of seeing you squirm she will just not try as hard).  Keep on being happy, but don’t share details of your life with her, that will only fuel her.

Post # 6
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like she’s insecure and feels threatened by you, for whatever reason. I was actually shocked that my own sister did this at our wedding, and I finally figured out that it was because our mom helped me more with the details and planning of my day instead of hers (we got married 8 years apart).

So who knows where all this anger is coming from, but try your best to ignore it. Somehow find your way out of converstations and confrontations that inevitably turn into a competition. Once she eventually learns that you aren’t interested in competing, hopefully she’ll cool off.

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