- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
Sorry if this is convoluted. I hate melodrama like this.
So my FH’s two sisters are my bridesmaids. I asked them to be in the wedding party thinking that we would get to know each other better and it would be fun. Well it has been quite the opposite for a number of reasons, but right now I’m concerned with their significant others.
The first sister, “Rosanne”, has a long-term live-in boyfriend, “Dan”. They are always somewhat on the verge of breaking up, but so far have managed to stay together. Dan has also been a friend of FH’s for a long time. So I let Rosanne know that Dan was invited to the wedding as her date, and sent them both a save-the-date card.
The second sister, “Tina” has an on-and-off boyfriend, “Ike”. Tina and Ike have a relationship that is beyond messed up. They break up very frequently, and he has done some things that are literally criminal (though not physically violent, as far as I know). She actually had a restraining order against him for a while, but then decided she should get back together with him. They are recently back on after a huge breakup where he kicked her out of his house. This cycle has been going on for years.
When I sent out my save-the-dates, I sent one to Tina and Ike, and I let Tina know that Ike was invited to the wedding as her guest. Now personally I think Ike is scum, but FH’s mother had asked me to include him in family activities and be civil to him so that Tina would not feel excluded from the family.
Since then, even FH’s mother has turned against Ike after the last squabble where he kicked Tina out of the house. It has also come to my attention that Rosanne’s boyfriend, Dan, refuses to be in the same room as Ike and if Ike shows up to the wedding Dan will not.
What am I supposed to do. Ike already received a save-the-date card with my wedding webiste on it, so he knows where and when the event will take place. It wouldn’t surprise me if he decided to show up to cause a scene with Tina, even if I don’t send him a formal invite. I can’t go ahead and invite him, becuase he is actively being shunned by the family, it will cause Dan to decline, and also because I hate him. But if I don’t invite him, Tina will feel excluded from the family and very likely fail to show up that day as a bridesmaid.
I’m mostly just venting here because it is so ridiculous. I guess I could always get a bouncer to keep undesirables such as Ike off the property! Ugh. If they weren’t in my wedding party I would just let them fight it out on the sidewalk outside the venue.