Post # 1
My Fiance proposed to me on Halloween night! YAY! The next morning I called all of my family and friends and told them the great news. My Fiance and I have been talking about marriage for a while now (been together 3 years) and had decided on a date 10/5/13 before the proposal. When I called everyone, I told them the date and there were no issues. I was really excited and we got our save the dates that day. I mailed the save the dates on Monday (we are having a themed wedding and asking our guests to come in period attire, so I want guests to have a lot of time to get outfits).
BUT… on Monday night I got a msg from my SIL (my brother’s wife) saying that my nephew will be in kindergarten next year and they would only be able to come for the weekend if I have my wedding on 10/5/13 and asking me if I would be willing to change my date to 10/12 or 10/19 so it would fall on a weekend before or after the week break the school will have, that way they could stay for the week. The big deal about that is they aren’t coming to FL for the holidays this year or next (going to her family’s this year and they have 2 weddings next year – mine and a friend), so if I don’t change the date, my family will only get to see them for 2 days in 2 years. I talked with my family and they wanted me to move the date, so I ended up deciding to change the date, but I’m really upset. The fact that she even asked has me furious and the feeling that I had no choice – like I would be considered selfish if I didn’t change it so they could stay longer – upsets me. I can’t believe that she sent me a message on Facebook, instead of calling me – or at least sending me an actual email!
Plus, I have sent out save the dates (and bought them in the first place!) that are basically worthless. Now I have to send out new info saying we changed the date. I’m going to wait to get those and send them, though.
I don’t know, I just feel like there have only been 2 people actually happy for us about the engagement. My parents are in the middle of a divorce, so my mom says she might not come; my grandma says I already had a nice wedding so why do I want another (this is my second marriage, but my FI’s first); and my Future Mother-In-Law is upset because she thinks a wedding is out of our money right now (even though we are having a super-small wedding with a $5,000 budget)… and every one of them are saying I shouldn’t even be making plans this early anyway. But, my date is less than a year away! It just seems like my dad and best friend are the only ones who have actually seemed happy for us, and are willing to talk to me about my wedding ideas. Don’t I have the right to be excited about my engagement and wedding?
Post # 3
You don’t have to change your wedding date if you don’t want to. It’s your wedding day not hers.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
You shouldn’t have to change the wedding date for one person who had no problem when you first brought it up. It’s not your problem.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t change the date if I’d already sent STDs. Plus, your venue might already be booked on those other dates.
Post # 6
Did your Future Sister-In-Law know about and approve the date before? It’s a bummer that she’s put you in that position. I also think you probably jumped the gun a little on the save the dates — I know you said that you want people to have time to get costumes and stuff, but 11 months is pretty early. My wedding is two months before yours and we haven’t even ordered ours yet.
Post # 8
I definitely wouldn’t change the date.
Post # 9
It’s not your fault that she can’t work her schedule a little better to see her family. I would NOT reschedule. I would tell her that the date is set, and you have signed contracts.
Post # 10
How does she know for sure that your nephew’s school will have break around that time? Here the schedule for next year isn’t publicized yet. Our schools used to have a spring break in March and this year they decided to do away with it. I wouldn’t change the date if I was you.
Post # 11
Also, when people say that you are planning way too early, tell them that July and October are the 2 most popular months for weddings. We had to book our venue 18 months before our wedding.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago
I wouldn’t move your wedding. She said they would only be able to stay the weekend if you had your wedding on the 5th…not that they wouldn’t be able to come. What’s the problem with that? It is not your problem that they don’t come to visit more often- so don’t let that argument have any sway.
Post # 13
You got engaged a week ago and already sent out save the dates? Do you have a venue booked? Vendors reserved? I would maybe wait to do all this until you agree on a date. But I see your SIL’s point. They would probably like to make a real trip out of it. However, it’s Kindergarden. The kid can miss a few days. There is no “permanent record”.
Post # 14
Don’t change the date. once you let in on this, it’s just an open invitiation for more requests like this.
On top of that, i’m sorry- but he will be in kindergarten. They can take him out a few days of school and it will not ruin his education
Post # 15
@jenart: yeah wait a second, I have some questions.
Although I don’t see the point in planning your WEDDING around a kindergartener’s school break (You can say the ABC’s with him and basically get the same effect) and I think you should be allowed to have the date you want…
did you book your venue yet?
Is the original date just a date you love or have you booked anything else besides STDs?
Did you already give the family the impression you’d move it?
I’m confused… it looks like you’re being bullied into this and no one takes you seriously because its your 2nd wedding… and I’m very sorry for that.
I think you might have put the carriage before the horse if you don’t have your venue booked and you sent out save the dates… Venues book up QUICK and with that budget, I’d be nervous about narrowing down your choiced by having a fixed date already.
Post # 16
You got engaged 8 days ago and already bought and sent out save the dates? It seems like you may be rushing quite a bit. I’d suggest slowing down a bit and making plans before changing dates and welcoming other people’s opinions.