(Closed) SIL asked me to change my wedding date… *vent*

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3174 posts
Sugar bee

You don’t have to change your wedding date if you don’t want to. It’s your wedding day not hers.

Post # 4
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

You shouldn’t have to change the wedding date for one person who had no problem when you first brought it up.  It’s not your problem.  

Post # 5
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t change the date if I’d already sent Save-The-Date Cards. Plus, your venue might already be booked on those other dates.

Post # 6
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did your Future Sister-In-Law know about and approve the date before? It’s a bummer that she’s put you in that position. I also think you probably jumped the gun a little on the save the dates — I know you said that you want people to have time to get costumes and stuff, but 11 months is pretty early. My wedding is two months before yours and we haven’t even ordered ours yet.

Post # 7
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@cmbr:  +1

Post # 8
Member
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I definitely wouldn’t change the date.

Post # 9
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not your fault that she can’t work her schedule a little better to see her family. I would NOT reschedule. I would tell her that the date is set, and you have signed contracts. 

Post # 10
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How does she know for sure that your nephew’s school will have break around that time?  Here the schedule for next year isn’t publicized yet.  Our schools used to have a spring break in March and this year they decided to do away with it.  I wouldn’t change the date if I was you.

Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also, when people say that you are planning way too early, tell them that July and October are the 2 most popular months for weddings. We had to book our venue 18 months before our wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

I wouldn’t move your wedding.  She said they would only be able to stay the weekend if you had your wedding on the 5th…not that they wouldn’t be able to come.  What’s the problem with that?  It is not your problem that they don’t come to visit more often- so don’t let that argument have any sway.

Post # 13
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You got engaged a week ago and already sent out save the dates? Do you have a venue booked? Vendors reserved? I would maybe wait to do all this until you agree on a date. But I see your SIL’s point. They would probably like to make a real trip out of it. However, it’s Kindergarden. The kid can miss a few days. There is no “permanent record”.

Post # 14
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Don’t change the date. once you let in on this, it’s just an open invitiation for more requests like this. 

On top of that, i’m sorry- but he will be in kindergarten. They can take him out a few days of school and it will not ruin his education 

Post # 15
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jenart:  yeah wait a second, I have some questions.

Although I don’t see the point in planning your WEDDING around a kindergartener’s school break (You can say the ABC’s with him and basically get the same effect) and I think you should be allowed to have the date you want…

did you book your venue yet?

Is the original date just a date you love or have you booked anything else besides STDs?

Did you already give the family the impression you’d move it?

I’m confused… it looks like you’re being bullied into this and no one takes you seriously because its your 2nd wedding… and I’m very sorry for that.

BUT

I think you might have put the carriage before the horse if you don’t have your venue booked and you sent out save the dates… Venues book up QUICK and with that budget, I’d be nervous about narrowing down your choiced by having a fixed date already.

 

Post # 16
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You got engaged 8 days ago and already bought and sent out save the dates? It seems like you may be rushing quite a bit. I’d suggest slowing down a bit and making plans before changing dates and welcoming other people’s opinions. 

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