(Closed) SIL doesn't consider my kids her niece/nephews …. wtf?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it’s a family thing. I always call my aunts and uncles and their spouses by Aunt NAME or Uncle NAME. My Fiance refers to his aunts and uncles by their first name only. I find that weird.

Could be how her family was when she was growing up. If you guys are close, you should ask her.

Post # 3
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Mmm I find that really wierd.  I totally agree with you. Growing up my mom and dad’s sibling’s spouses considered me their neice. I referred to them as my aunty and uncles. Never known differently though.

But it’s probably a cultural/family thing like the other PP said.

Post # 5
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’d find that weird! Sorry you’re dealing with it.  My niece and nephew have been calling my DH “Uncle” since before we were even engaged, kids are so innocent and we never really felt like correcting them.  Then after the wedding little Liv, all of four, says “now you’re my REEEALLLL uncle!” … nawwww!  And for that matter DH has always considered them his niece and nephew too and I swear he’s better at entertaining them than I am.  He says he’s lucky to have a ready-made set of niece & nephew as his sister is unlikely to have kids any time soon 🙂

Post # 7
Member
4501 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have to be honest, and I am a little ashamed of this. I have two nephews and a niece from my brother, and I feel totally connected to them. I then have two nephews on my Husbands side (both born since I have been married) and I don’t feel connected to them in the same way. 

Eeep, maybe I am your SIL. 🙁 

Post # 8
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee

That’s so weird. I love my in-laws and consider them family.

Funny side note: I told FI’s little nieces (like 4 and 5 years old) that after I marry their uncle, I would be their aunt. They looked all confused and were like, “No, we already have an aunt.” Haha precious.

Post # 9
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
majorairhead:  If she signs the card “Aunt” then she probably considers herself an aunt, but sometimes may feel like she needs to explain the relationship to a third party.

ie I don’t call my cousin’s husband “my cousin” in conversation usually.  Instead I’ll say “my cousin’s husband.”

Post # 10
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I never really rhought about this before, but I also have Nieces/ Nephews, but my husband just calls them by their name and never really refers to them as his nieces. However, they also live on a different continent and he has seen them maybe 7 times in the past 6 years… I think it depends, some people just differentiate because they are not technically related to them. She is not related to her husband (obviously) so the kids are also not technically related (I am talking DNA). But if her sister or brother had a child she would be related by blood. I don’t know-that is the only explanation that kinda makes sense. Maybe she also doesn’t want to insult you by saying they are her nieces-when she is not related to them. I don’t think it is meant in an offensive way. 

Post # 12
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

View original reply
Apple_Blossom:  that’s true. I’m not married yet but my Brother-In-Law and SIL don’t call our cousins their cousins . But I still find the neice/nephew thing really odd lol. I guess it’s just cultural.

Post # 15
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
majorairhead:  I do not consider my husband’s nephews my nephews, one because by the time we got married his nephews were 10 and 16.  Meaning I had no real impact in their formative years.  Now it may just be a cultural thing for her. 

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