(Closed) SIL gift dilemma

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

If it’s really for safety, just get her a plain and basic phone.  No data, no fun stuff, an hour of talk time.

Post # 18
4510 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

aliwar1225:  I agree with PPs. Buy a regular, non-smart phone with limits (opting out of texting might be a good idea if you don’t want to distract her) and make an upgrade contingent on her grades.


Post # 19
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

aliwar1225:  It depends – is she expecting a smartphone? There’s no reason she needs that. But a basic phone with calling and texting – I think that’s a safety requirement for kids these days. If you’re going to give either, be clear about the strings and conditions upfront.

Post # 20
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

aliwar1225: “SIL is old enough to work a part time job now but decided it is more important to focus on grades, which I agreed with”…. No, she is not working because she doesn’t have too. She seems OK with going along with a free ride. She is not studying, not working, but is hanging out with friends. Stop enabling the “poor me” attitude she has. She has no sense of responsibility because she doesn’t need too.

She needs to shape up, study, and get a part time job.

I grew up in an age where that was the norm. At 15 you started working part time AND maintained good grades. Kids today are lazy.

No phone, she can get a job and pay for her own phone AND the bill.

You stated she is old enough to drive… who is paying for that? Did someone actually buy her a car? She hasn’t earned a car or a phone.


  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  BrideK2Wings.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  BrideK2Wings.
Post # 21
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Get her a non-contract emergency phone. Like a basic boost phone or something.

Post # 22
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

aliwar1225:  The only reason I had a phone in high school was because I was on a traveling team and my mom didn’t like that I had to ask others to call. I mean I went as far as 500 miles away from home. I was almost left at a truck stop once at 15. But mom made sure grades were up. Grades first phones second. After I had my phone my younger siblings all had the same rules no grades no phone. Best to get her something else.

Post # 23
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

aliwar1225:  IF safety is the issue, get her one w/no texting plan and that can only make calls. No smart phone. 


Post # 24
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I dont think that doing it for safety is dumb. Yes, you might not have had a cell phone in high school, thats great, but when I was in high school, I used my phone a lot to check in with my mom, & a lot of times I walked home from school alone on bike trails, & im glad I had my phone for my safety. not to mention going in the ditch at night while its snowing, I am so lucky I had my phone. You dont want some creep pulling up at night if she has car troubles & realizing she doesnt have a phone. This might be more of a regional situation though because where I had to drive sometimes it was pretty empty & had steep ditches where someone might not notice you for a long time if you slid into the ditches. Is all of this likely to happen? Maybe not but situations did arrise in high school where I am really happy that I had a phone when no one else was there to borrow one from. 

I do think that it should be a basic phone. With kids abusing phones these days & all of their apps & functions, I think it would be best.

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