(Closed) SIL planning MY pregnancy!

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
8168 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@NewYearsEve:  It sounds to me like she was just playing, or showing excitement. I would not take this to mean she plans on showing up in your bedroom to supervise activities.

Post # 4
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@NewYearsEve:  Some people don’t have a filter. We made the mistake of telling eveyone we were going to TTC right after the wedding. Since we haven’t been able to concieve yet, we get unsolicited advise about why we haven’t been able to. Your stressing too much, you need to relax, stop thinking about it, etc. Try to blow the rudeness off. And best of luck when you do start trying 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Is it possible she’s planning on TTC next year and wants to synchronise? I agree with @Daisy_Mae: I don’t think she meant to be invasive. I wouldn’t have gotten offended.

Post # 6
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I think her first comment was just playful. The rest of it, though? Overstepping. She may well have been trying to “synchronize” pregnancies, but you have to word that carefully or you risk offending someone for trying to dictate their reproductive choices.

It’s a little late now, but this is why I think it’s a good idea to flat-out lie to the in-laws. I tell mine I never want kids. Of course, that was after my future mother-in-law very rudely told me that we needed to “get married and wait a few years before even thinking about kids” after she misheard me (“I hope I’m an aunt one day” apparently sounds like “I hope I’m a mom one day.”). I didn’t bother correcting her and just rolled my eyes inside.

Boy, will she be blindsided when I (hopefully) announce a pregnancy this year.

Post # 7
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Some people lack any tact. Maybe she was really close with her brother and wants to still feel like a part of his life. In my experience, no one understands the stress, pressure and emotion that goes into TTC unless they have been through it themselves, so if she hasn’t TTC yet, she won’t get how insensitive her comments were. Try to blow it off.

Post # 8
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with everyone above… sounds like your SIL is trying to bond with you.  Maybe ask her when she’s finally going to get married 🙂  Single girls love that!

Post # 9
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ANewMrs:  Best response ever!!!

Post # 10
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@KH: Hahaha.  “SIL, have you gained weight?” 

Post # 11
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ANewMrs:  Another great response, you are on fire today!

Post # 12
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Haha. I rule at snarky.

Post # 13
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@NewYearsEve:  I think she was excited and just offering you a piece of advice (waiting a year).

I’ve noticed that since me and SO moved in together and he made clear to his family that soon I was going to be family too his siter has started treating me like one of the family. Which also means being nosy!

It can be annoying but she wasn’t trying to offend you or attacking you!

Post # 14
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I totally get that pain.  My unmarried SIL tells us every.single.time. that she calls that we cannot have a baby until she does. Completely serious.  We once laughed and said how we didn’t know we took orders from her uterus, and she started SCREAMING at us that we were horrible people if we even ever considered having a child before her.  Did I mention she’s not married but is not planning to have a child until she is married? If we’re waiting for her to have a baby we are going to be waiting a long and undetermined time.  But also, my SIL is a fucking nutcase so Darling Husband and I don’t listen to anything she says.

Post # 15
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@NewYearsEve:  It sounds like she’s just really excited, but I think you should nip it in the bud and let her know that your decision to conceive is between you and your husband. If I were you, I would also tell her that she needs to avoid saying that sort of thing to anyone because it’s considered to be rude and intrusive.

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@bearlove:  Wow looks like your SIL has some serious issues!

The topic ‘SIL planning MY pregnancy!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors