(Closed) SIL rant.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

justwondering2015:  You should stick them in the ballroom with a note on their plates that says “Sucks to suck!” 

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Post # 17
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

justwondering2015:  While I was doing my hair this morning, I had some random thoughts and wanted to come back to this thread haha. (I know, RANDOM.)

I think something you mightly quietly inquire about is if your SIL/brother have had any big disagreements with your mom. I can put myself EXACTLY in your SIL’s shoes and I could potentially see my own Future Sister-In-Law writing exactly what you’ve put here. My Fiance and I had an AWFUL falling out with his parents 2 years ago (about many things but mostly they didn’t think we should be getting engaged and also they are always guilt-tripping and threatening him if they don’t get things their way). My parents treat myself and Fiance very well and are generous in many aspects, and FI’s parents kinda just treat their children like they’re an imposition, especially in comparison. Even after all this time, our relationship with FI’s parents has not improved, and I know we both manifest a lot of this onto his sister as well. Of the two of them, she gets all the special treatment. Everything in her life is taken care of by his parents, and she was always too self-absorbed to notice how poorly her parents were treating her brother. (Yah, I manifest more than a little bit.) FI’s parents are trying desperately to reach out, and at this point, we’re just so fed up that we’re not willing to invite any more drama, and we probably come off in a similar way to your SIL (even though we mainly do it out of not wanting me to cry myself to sleep that night).

I am NOT by any means saying that your mom treats you or your brother unfairly. My FI’s parents are a special breed of abnormal, but the relationship troubles could be similar. Maybe your brother and SIL had a big disagreement and just never got over it and you’re getting dragged in for the same reasons I drag my Future Sister-In-Law into it.

Post # 18
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

” you literally don’t have to invite anyone to your wedding that you don’t want to”

Post # 21
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

justwondering2015:  I think it’s absolutely awful that your brother would be discussing those topics in such a casual manner. So disrespectful. (Granted, that’s how my Future Mother-In-Law talks about her own parents….)

In regards to the comments between your SIL and mom about marrying your brother, I can guarantee that’s where part of the problem is stemming from. It doesn’t excuse your brother and SIL’s behavior because it sounds like they are being just awful, but when parents give opinions on who their children marry and when, it tends to breed resentment (regardless of circumstance). If SIL could get over that, maybe things would improve.

I wish the best for you and hope that everything improves – I send internet hugs!

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