(Closed) SIL really pissing me off (VENT) and advice

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

She’s 23 or 24 and dumb, naive, and entitled. You can’t reason with those types of people. You’ve tried calmly telling her 26 is not old. She doesn’t get it. She isn’t going to. Bless your brother for putting up with her.

There’s really nothing you can do besides ignore it or go off on her. And going off on her will not do any good.

So just ignore it even though it sucks. Just know she’s obviously wrong, try not to take it personally, and spend as little time with her as possible.

Post # 4
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Tell her that I was 43 when I got married and 45 when I had my first child. Dumb bitch, what is her point? How annoying 

Post # 5
Member
2920 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

“Oh my God, this conversation is so boring! You’ve told me this, like, a hundred times! Let’s talk about something else.” and change the subject.

Or “Life isn’t a contest, SIL. You don’t get a gold medal for crossing the I-made-a-baby finish line first.”

And then, with a concerned expression, “You talk about this so much! It makes you sound really insecure. Are you worried that you got married too young?” and “Have you thought about therapy to help you get over your anxiety about getting married and becoming a mother at such a young age?”

Eventually you might just have to start avoiding her. Then if she says you don’t care about her, get Very Real. “Look, when we hang out you constantly talk about how I’m so old and it makes me feel like you don’t care abou ME. Like you’re deliberately trying to hurt my feelings. If you can stop doing that, I’d be happy to hang out with you again. What do you think?”

Post # 7
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

She sounds naive and dumb even considering she’s 23. A lot of women are waiting until their 30s to get married and have kids now. Honestly I’d just tell her you’re tired of hearing about it and to shut the hell up already.

Post # 9
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would avoid her as much as possible, and when I absolutly had to deal with her, I would be so sweet your teeth would fall out.  Let it all roll over you like water.  It will drive her nuts.

I have dealt wtih two of these people in my life.  They are both now divorced at 25.  What she is trying to do is make herself feel better about the decision she made by making your decisons “wrong.”

Post # 10
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

You could say: “You know, I don’t really worry about that because as they say, younger married couples are more likely to get divorced anyway.”

Or, just totally throw it in her face and say: “When I want your opinion on my age I’ll ask you.” Totally deadpan, and definitely with force.

OR when she starts talking about having kids already say: “And your age affects me how?” or “And why is your age relevant in my situation? That’s right, it’s not.”

Post # 12
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

 

Jijitattoo:  +1000 love your suggestions! Especially the  “are you worried you got married too young?” comment! Genius!

Post # 14
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I say kick her in her teeth, but I guess it might be a bit much to some people.

Post # 15
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

You should nicely tell her that if getting married by 23 and having a baby by 24 is all she has to feel accomplished about perhaps she needs to make some additional life goals.

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