(Closed) SIL Refuses to Accept Name Change

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d address ALL mail to her with her married name … she will learn pretty quick that way

Post # 4
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Have you tried just talking to her about it?

Post # 5
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that’s so rude of her!  You respect her decision to not change her name but she won’t respect that you changed yours.  I would just keep signing things as Mrs. Smith, I don’t think there is anything you can say to her to make her address you by the proper name.

Post # 6
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Talk to her before it becomes a huge issue and you hold it in too long.

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is she aware that you took his name? She may actually be trying to not offend you by doing that in case you didn’t take his name.

Post # 10
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Sorry to hear she is disrespecting you like this. I think she is doing it because she doesn’t like you, and this is a way for her to show her distaste. Frankly I would try to not worry about it. It will be very hard to correct someone who’s messing up your name out of malice, whereas it would be easier to correct someone who messes it up out of ignorance or negligence. Because to get her to stop, you would have to get her to stop disliking you or to start respecting you, and I don’t think there are many ways of achieving that when people are set in their ways.

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

🙁 sorry, than! I was hoping it was just a misunderstanding. I’d honestly just mention it to her casually, and laugh it off – otherwise you’ll stew about it, and it’ll become a much bigger issue than it needs to!

Post # 12
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

 

@HisIrishPrincess:

I love it! haha

 

I like the idea of addressing all of her stuff as Mrs. Married Name. See if she says something to you about it, and if she does then throw it out there that you’d like to be addressed as Mrs. Married Name, not Maiden Name.

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

In your next correspondence to her, regardless of the subject, include a footnote reminding her that you changed your name in a friendly way. “By the way, just wanted to let you know that my name is now Mrs. X!” Hopefully that will work or she will just eventually get the hint that you are going by a new name now.

It is one of my biggest pet peeves when people address me by the wrong name or spell my name wrong (when they see it clearly spelled out in an email they are replying to). I can understand if people don’t know that I got married or haven’t confirmed that I changed my name, but I think the slightest effort should be made to address others correctly, espcially by a SIL!!

Post # 14
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t worry about it, or confronting her. She sounds like she’s spiteful and is trying to piss you off. I don’t know her, but confronting her probably won’t change that. Just pretend that it doesn’t bother you, and she might even stop trying to bother you.

Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the footnote idea. If she doesn’t get the hint after that, she’s being intentionally rude. From the sound of her other behaviour, it doesn’t seem like she’s the type of person who you’re particularly close to anyway, so if she continues, you and your Darling Husband can have a private giggle over her pettiness. 

Post # 16
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

i agree with the footnotes. besides signing your married name on everything, 

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