(Closed) SIL vent,

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She sounds like a sad woman.

You obv. have much more class then her. I would let it show. Don’t let her get under her skin and don’t ever look visibly affected by what she says. When your BIL’s kids are around *DOTE* on them like your life depends on it. Let her know what a loving family member looks like and that alone will show her that you see how she treats the kids.

Other then act ignore her as much as possible and interact with her when you have to – and then be polite. Be gentle and if she says something beyond terrible you can ignore it or say ‘honey did you mean to say that in a nasty way?’ (in your sweet motherly voice, of course).

Post # 4
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hmm where to start? Please tell me your BIL’s ex wife is a decent mother if not a perfect wife because otherwise these poor kids are screwed. Your Brother-In-Law sounds like a total doormat. No words of wisdom for you but hopefully things get better.

Post # 5
3312 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m trying to figure out what attracted your husband’s brother to this repellent creature. It’s very sad that the kids have to suffer at the hands of your SIL; you could be very up front with him (or your husband could) and tell him you have serious concerns about her ability to parent. There is always the possibiity unfortunately that if Brother-In-Law and SIL take offense, they may stay away from family.

It’s a bad deal all the way around and your Brother-In-Law is to blame.

Post # 6
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Wow, I wouldnt normally say this, but what a cow!

@suburbian:  has some good suggestions for you. A woman like this is one who hates seeing others happy. She also hates when others outshine her. Ignore her, and dont interact with her unless you absolutely need to. Dote on those kids, they need a positive adult figure in their lives AND it’ll drive her insane lol. When she says something snarky, remain polite. Kill her with kindness. It’ll drive her mad. 

Has your husband ever spoken to his brother about WHY he married such a vile person?

Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I am going through something very similar, and it is also my main source of constant stress in my life.

At least, in your case, your in-laws can see right through her and they probably prefer you clearly, since you are kind to them and not a bitch.  In my situation, my in-laws seem to have amensia regarding everything my BIL’s wife does.  She’s just the greatest thing since sliced bread anytime she’s around and it makes me insane.

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