(Closed) SIL Violated My Privacy w/ Medical Provider & I'm LIVID!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Alright, I’m a bit of a b*tch, but here’s what I would do. If your test results were the kind that you are okay to make public (now), the next time I was with you family I’d tell the story and leave out who the jerk was. So if Mother-In-Law asked “how’s everything going?” I’d reply with “ugh. Okay I guess. I had a bit of a health scare and had someone close to me act as an imposter to get my results before I could. That’s just shaken our trust of everyone close to us and we are going through an ordeal with the doctor in deciding whether or not to press charges.” Short, sweet, and lets your side of the story out. 

Post # 62
Hostess
8826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

What the hell? At first I was like,  what a stupis bitch SIL is, but maybe it came from a good place. And then I was all like, man she feels bad, and what she did was silly and wrong but maybe she isn’t a nasty person. And now, I think the SIL is fucking crazy and I personally wouldn’t have anything to do with her from now on. I’m glad the Dr’s office took responsibility and are putting measures in place so nothing like that can happen again.

 

Post # 63
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

I hope you are done with your SIL and press charges.  Coming from a good place, my ass.  She’s a criminal.  Unless she has a mental disability, there is no way she possibly can’t see that what she did is highly inappropriate.  

I would have no problem cutting this person from my life, and I hope your husband supports you in doing the same.

Post # 64
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

gilsgirl:  I’m assuming her mom is your husband’s mom…..he should fill his mom in on exactly what she did, and if mom gives any flack, ask mom how she’d feel if you impersonated her to get information from her doctor about her. 

I think time will heal this, and they need to give you space and be graceful and quit talking about you. 

ON the other hand, she’s played her true colors:  she can’t be trusted with any private information, and when backed in a corner now you know she will always be the victim.  That alone is valuable information for YOU and your future in this famly.  You’ll never be able to turn your back on her.

Good luck with all!! xo

Post # 65
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

WOW… t sounds like she did it for her own selfish curiosity but figured you wouldn’t be too mad (although she’s insane if she thought you wouldn’t be livid) but when you flipped out she had a “oh sh*t” moment and tried to back track and apologize so you wouldn’t take it further. 

It’s  like when you’re kids and your little sister pisses you off so you throw a toy at her but when you actually nail her right in the nose and she starts crying you quickly apologize profusely, say you didn’t mean it, and beg her not to tell mom. Once she tells mom, you start with the whole “But she started it!!” to avoid a time-out.

I originally was going to say take a break, cool down, and explain to her how upset you are with her but eventually move on from it. But with her attitude now, I’d cut her out and let the family know exactly what she did.

Post # 66
Member
12309 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It sounds as if she were remorseful and sorry, but only up to a point. To add insult to injury, now she’s taken it upon herself to decide how long you get to be angry and upset over this. I would tell her that what she did was egregious and she certainly does not get to call you unreasonable. Everything about this story points to someone who is totally self absorbed and self centered.

She is still family, however, and unless you want a permanent rift in the family, with consequences that could go beyond what you can imagine, it would be ridiculous to report her to the authorities. Not to mention the  one you’d really be getting into trouble is the doctor and staff, who seem to be taking this all very seriously. 

Just handle it privately. 

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