Silly bridesmaid question

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1453 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

You are overthinking this! I have been a bridesmaid a bunch of times and never have been dress shopping with the bride– it didn’t upset me at all! When I went to buy my own dress, I hadn’t even designated bridesmaids yet and just took my mom. I think typically people do invite their BMs to pre-wedding parties (like showers) but you definitely aren’t obligated to include anyone in your planning outings.

Post # 3
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I only went dress shopping with my mom and sister. I didn’t include the other bridesmaids and it wasn’t a big deal. I just didn’t want a crowd, just those few people who I was closest to. I think the smaller the group, the better 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4482 posts
Honey bee

Honestly,  you shouldn’t pick people to be bridesmaids with the intent that it will build your relationship.  There are dozens of stories of how that backfires on this site.  Pick them to honor your existing relationship and if you don’t have that relationship,  it’s probably a sign you shouldn’t pick them.  Your wedding isn’t a relationship building boot camp or seminar.  Find other ways to build your relationship with them outside of your wedding in a setting where they don’t have the same title as others and therefore have no reason to compare why the others get treated differently.

Post # 5
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee

scipioblack : Trust me, NOBODY is going to care about not being there to pick out your makeup and centrepieces.

I went to one bridal expo with just one of my sisters and nobody else. Dress shopping was just my mum, two sisters and Maid/Matron of Honor plus myself (obviously). I originally only planned on having just my mum and sisters but my Maid/Matron of Honor was kind enough to offer and take time off work and to be honest, I’m glad she was there. We also got a chance to look at Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses while we were at it which worked out well.

I still have one other bridesmaid that wasn’t there for any of that and she’s totally fine with it because she wouldn’t have been able to take time off work anyway.

Also, just prepare yourself for the possibility that they might not even show up for the things that you DO invite them to. You’re overthinking things. Don’t stress yourself out…you’ll have more important things to worry about soon.

Post # 6
Member
9615 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I didn’t invite my bridesmaids to anything. My Maid/Matron of Honor did go dress shopping with me but I picked my dress on a day when it was just me and my mom. No one cared that they weren’t invited to any of the planning stuff.

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