Post # 76
demelza2510 : my tip? Do something super embarrassing so he’ll think your really (and I mean REALLY) weird. Make goofy faces at the wall, let him catch you smelling your pits, talk to yourself in a crazy voice under your breath, smell your fingers all day, just do SOMETHING weird like the examples I mentioned and I guarantee his staring and flirting with you will come to a halt. I use these methods all the time when a guy I’m not interested in tries to hit on me at the bar, and I’ve even used this at work. Now all we say is “hi” when we pass each other. If you’re really committed to stop crushing, being embarrassed is the way to go.
Post # 77
You are crossing a line by indulging in these thoughts, actions etc.
The fact that you are asking means you know you are begining to like him more than what is appropriate when in a relationship. When you are with him mentioned your partner a lot so he knows that you are committed. Lessen your time with him and try to keep it only to work.
14months is not a long time with the current boyf so maybe he isnt the one. However its not fair to be with him and flirt with someone else at the same time. Sort those feelings out lovely 🙂
Post # 78
OK, but are your *same* favorite books The Great Gatsby/Perks of Being a Wallflower/ something else depressingly cliche?
Unless you both deeply love ‘The Bridge’ by Camus or something (even that’s a stretch), the chances are much higher that you’re both unoriginal than soulmates.
If you like the attention, own it and break up with your long distance guy. If you don’t, shut it down. If you like both, admit to yourself you’re a trash person and move on from there.
Post # 79
Girl! Learn some self control!
There’s always going to be hot and interesting men around.
I certainly don’t judge you at all, I just think you need to learn some self control. xo
Post # 80
I think you need to talk to your bf about this coworker and then I think you need to evaluate your relationship. What I think is really going on; you are subconsciously/consciously spiting your bf over his past behavior which apparently breeched your trust somewhat and he doesn’t even have a clue b/c you guys are long distance and your trying to downplay your feelings on it best you can (your failing obv) and he’s not there for you emotionally in-person on a day-to-day basis as you’ve stated previously. When you go see him in person, have this conversation. Tell him how you’re feeling and don’t sweep anything under the rug no matter how much you want to avoid certain topics when you finally get to see each other in person and want it to be happy and light hearted.
This situation hasn’t happened to me but I do have lots LDR experience and it’s so easy to only have good times when you do see each other but that will set you up for failure if you have a real future with this person because that attitude doesn’t temper your expectations. “Be real” about everything that’s going on with you and LDR bf
best of luck bee!
Post # 81
I was in almost the exact same situation a few years ago. I married the coworker.
I think the most important thing to do when you have a crush is figure out why you have it: is there something the crush had that your partner doesn’t, and if so can you use this knowledge to find a way to improve your relationship so you don’t need the crush anymore?
Of course, in an LDR, you might just miss being in the same physical space as your partner. But take a bit and try to figure out if there’s anything else missing.
Post # 82
I’m so grateful for al your replies! There’s been a good mix of understanding and giving me a good kick up the backside! It’s not like having Gatsby in common, way more rare, but it doesn’t matter anyway.
today was better. I went into work with a different mindset, giving my co workers equal attention and not making too much eye contact. I asked co worker about his weekend and he didn’t mention the gf – I guess maybe he just doesn’t want to for whatever reason. Otherwise we talked work.
i think I just miss my partner because I know how happy we are when together. I’m travelling to be with him this week and I can’t wait! Over the weekend I rarely thought of co worker and thought about my partner lots. A goodness if not i think.
Post # 83
greylipstick : That is the craziest advice I have ever heard hahaha