(Closed) Silly registry/dishes dilemma

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Um, wow, I love the Crate and Barrel dishes.  I would totally return the others and buy those.  Seriously.  After all, the people who bought things off your registry didn’t spend a ton of time and effort picking out something they thought you would like – they just bought what you asked for.

We had a little dish dilemma too – picked a pattern we thought we liked (from photos on the internet) but had never seen in person, as it wasn’t in stock in any of the stores.  After receiving the first couple of place settings, I wasn’t really sure I was in love with it.  (The texture wasn’t exactly what I had expected – weird, I know, but true.)  We decided to wait and see if the dishes sort of grew on us – and I ran a set through the dishwasher, and it turned out that the funny "feel" of them went right away once they were washed.  Now we’re really happy with them.  But I was absolutely ready to return them all and find another set – and just explain to people that, Oh silly me, I picked them out without ever seeing them and once we did actually have them, they just weren’t quite right.

It is hard to tell from a photo, and everybody has had the internet shopping experience where it’s just not what you want when it shows up, so go ahead and blame it on that.  Nobody should be offended. 

Post # 4
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah I totally feel your "pain".  The crate and barrel dishes are beautiful.  Also, I’m a girl who always knows exactly what she wants and I hate settling for less.  I agree with Suzzanno.  Your friends gave you what they thought you wanted.  But since there’s been a turn of events I don’t think it’s tacky or rude of you to exchange them.

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

My question is how are you going to return the others to BBB and then buy them at Crate and Barrel? 

 

If you like the C&B ones so much, I would just buy them for yourself. They’re on sale and then you don’t run the risk of hurting your aunt’s feelings.  They are after all….just dishes. 

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Why don’t you return one set for something else on your registry, buy the new set and then you won’t be adding a third set. Or you could be really tricky and take the blue china off your registry, so you don’t get anymore and then after the wedding return the pieces you did get and your excuse can be that you didn’t get the whole set, so you bought some other ones. 

Post # 9
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sounds good to me. I think as long as you don’t return something, you’ll feel fine. You have a guilt thing going on like I do. I can’t help but tell the truth!

Post # 10
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ok so i was going to say that you should just buy them. my mom has always had three sets of dishes–the not-so-nice everyday dishes, the nicer dinner-time dishes, and the super-nice antique thanksgiving and christmas dishes. that’s what i’m going to have too. but then i read that you’re getting antique dishes, and i agree, four sets is a bit much.

But if you really love this blue set, and I agree that it is absolutely fabulous, i would do one of two things. Either just go ahead and get the fourth set, and use it as nicer, but still everyday dinner-time dishes. Since the other blue set is pretty fancy, you can save it for special occasions, alternating between it and the antique ones.

Or just tell your friend the truth and return the red ones. I don’t think she’ll be offended in any way, like Suzanno said. And you’d still be keeping one of the sets she gave you, which you can proudly take out and use when she comes over. In the end, you’re going to be looking at these dishes every single day, you might as well get what you really want.

Post # 11
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I love your little red dishes!!  The blue C&B set is nice too but I wouldn’t put necesarily put one set over the other.  Sticking with what you have is certainly the easier choice.  (I personally don’t like dealing with returns…) And for sentimental reasons, someone gave you a gift.

I understand how this is a difficult dilema.  I’ve struggled with being satisfied with choices I’ve made…. and it usually involves shopping –like buying one dress and finding another I like even more a few weeks later and wishing I waited.  The internet has only fueled my obsession by providing endless choices at the click of a button.  I’ve learned that it’s less stressful to just be sastisfied with what I have.  The dress in my closet would serve the same purpose as the other.  I have to tell myself that what I have is enough.  There will always be prettier dresses, better shoes, bigger diamonds, fancier dishes… but I’m really trying to be satisfied with what I have because it’s enough.  

Post # 12
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would keep one of the sets your friend gave you, return the other, and buy myself the Crate and Barrel. That way you have a set to use in front of your friend and the set you love. 

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We just got the red berries set for our shower too!  I LOVE them…so fun!  Sorry I’m not helpful!

Post # 15
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

If I were your friend/guest who had bought you the red and blue ones, I would not feel slighted if you told me about why you had picked them and about how you now had found others that you liked better. If you told me, "With your blessing, I’d like to exchange your dishes for these others," I would totally give you my blessing, and not feel slighted at all. After all, I would have only bought you the red and other blue ones because they were on your registry and I thought you liked them in the first place. It has a good chance of working — even if it was your FMIL!

Post # 16
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Scarlet16, I *love* that solution – I think it looks beautiful!!! Way to go!  I love mixing and matching, and now you totally have the best of… well, all three worlds. Yay!

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