(Closed) Silly: What are some of the funniest things your fiancé has said in their sleep?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
7940 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think I’ve heard (or at least remember) any weird sleeptalk. Darling Husband has told me I’ve mumbled about work stuff in my sleep. He found it humorous. 

Post # 18
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My husband has jumped up from sleep a few times in our relationship, yelling about giant spiders.  Then he looks around and says “Never mind.”  It gives me a huge adrenaline rush every time.  He goes right back to sleep, and I sit there awake, wanting to punch him.

Post # 19
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

My husband talks excessively in his sleep and has a touch of PTSD. Usually his talks get a little scary. But when he got back from his first deployment, he was giggling one night. I asked what he was laughing at and he said he had candy in his pocket. Ever since then, it’s a running joke. And he does actually sometimes have candy in his pockets 😂

Post # 20
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

Doesn’t happen often, but best one so far… 

” Evreryone needs  a cup holder and a straw” repeated like 3 times… Still don’t know what that was about… 

He got prescribed ambian (sp?) once, took it… And basically blacked out… Talked to me about prosetetics and what it must feel like to move an artificial arm or leg… then he played with his phone squeezing it super hard and taping the screen and finally fell asleep… He does not remember any of it. He has not taken any sleep aids since and says he never will again.. Haha oh that was a long night..lol

Post # 21
Hostess
9530 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

DH’s phone was going off in his sleep the other night. The conversation went like this: 

Me: “Where’s your phone?”
Darling Husband: “It was between the marshmallows”
Me: “Between marshmallows?”
Darling Husband: “Yeah Wayne’s World.”
Me: “Wayne’s World marshmallows?”
Darling Husband: “Yeah I think so.”

I consider it a win that the man I married dreams about Wayne’s World.

Post # 22
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

One night he was trying to “impress” me by identifying different animal sounds he could hear outside our open bedroom window. A bird would chirp and he’d say “that’s a morning dove!”. A frog would croak and he’d say “that’s actually an English toad!”. This went on for awhile until I thought he finally drifted off into a deeper sleep. Then a car honked in the distance, and he proudly exclaimed “and that’s a Chevy Malibu!”.

Post # 23
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I used to work Graveyard shift.  When I got off work I’d call my fiance at the time on the way home before I went sleep.  We were in a long distance relationship so we were always on the phone together.  Well after a particular bad night at work where I made several bad mistakes I was complaining to my half awake sweetie.

Me, “I’m such an idiot!”

Him, “But your MY IDIOT!”

Me, “THAT is NOT a compliment!”

Then we busted up laughing.  He never will live it down!

Post # 24
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Talks in his sleep all the time. He said ” (insert my name here) can’t fuck worth a shit”

I shook him awake & I was like wtf. We both laughed til we cried bc we have sex a lot so it was just hilarious that he’d be saying that.

Post # 25
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

mrshesstobe:  

One night, my husband and I had a full-on conversation about the bushog that some “bastard” had left at the foot of our bed. It was quite entertaining! Hahaha

Post # 26
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m the sleep talker in my household and that’s always been the case. I used to share with my mother and she would tease me about the nonsense I came out with. Thankfully it’s mostly food related.

Imploring to Darling Husband: “Where’s the custard? I want custard. Please, can I have custard now?”

Or very demanding: Close the door! We need to leave now! No, don’t do that, just do as I say!

There are times when I suddenly hit or kick him really hard too.

Sharing a room with friends I screamed incredibly loudly and very frightfully that it woke them up in panic. They were worried I’d been bitten by something but couldn’t rouse me. I couldn’t remember it the next day and had to apologise. 

Mostly I dream about sex so it really does concern me what I may come out with when I sleep with anyone but Darling Husband…what if they’re just too embarrassed to tell me?

Darling Husband doesn’t sleeptalk but he did amuse me last night. He was rolled away from me and I was awake and stretched over to stroke his hair. He immediately turned over onto his back while grabbing my hand and holding it to his head and let out a demanding whimper of ‘I want that, don’t stop slave!’. So I did as requested and he gently groaned and fell back into his usual sleep breathing pattern. I thought he’d been conscious and needed help sleeping but he didn’t remember it!

Post # 27
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

He doesnt sleep talk and he always falls asleep before I do. Nothing wakes him up except me saying ‘I m hungry’ and he would wake up, “i will cook something for you…”

Post # 29
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

Well my Fiance told me one time (before we were engaged) he dreamt of working out at a gym and in the middle of the night be punched a wall. Haha his roommate said he said some other crazy stuff in his sleep. I forgot them though. I’m going to ask him and get more info. Stories like these are priceless! But he doesn’t sleep talk anymore he says so….just snores cutely. 🙂  bummer too because I might just want to use it against him somehow….muhahaha. He jokes about me I’ll joke back. Its on buddy! 😛

Post # 30
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

One time my Darling Husband was asleep turned away from me, so I hugged him from behind making him the little spoon and this is how the conversation went:

Darling Husband: Are you going to take my shape?

Me: What?

Darling Husband: Are you going to take my shape?

Me: Yes?

Darling Husband: That’s gross!

haahhahahaha! I couldn’t stop laughing that night LOL!

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