Post # 46
These are so funny! I have 2 that stick out the most.
On this particular day we had our bedroom window open all day because it was super windy outside. So he fell asleep and as it was getting late, I got up to close the window. So as I’m closing the window, he sits up super fast and in the LOUDEST, BASE FILLED, SCARIEST, AGGRESSIVE VOICE he says, “AY AY AY!” Scared thee CRAP out of me! And then he just layed back down and fell back to sleep in a split second. Meanwhile, I’m still standing at the window with it partially closed, eyes wide opened and heart racing. LOL I guess he thought someone was trying to come into the window, 3rd floor and all LOL After my adreneline wore off, I quietly laughed my butt off!!! I seriously could not stop laughing
The other time that sticks out…we were both sleep and out of no where I feel a whole lot of body movement from Fiance. I wake up and no lie this dude is lying on his side RUNNING 😂 I asked him about it the next morning and he said he was dreaming of playing football LOL. He was playing for college at the time too. I always joke that he eats, breath and literally sleeps football LOL
Post # 47
DH doesn’t talk, but he must have some very vivid dreams. I remember one time he needed a ‘release’ and i didn’t feel like sex, so he took care of the issue in the bathroom. I may have joked around with him afterwards, but nothing new. Well that night he shot out of bed screaming about snakes. I woke up him and asked what was wrong. I guess he had a nightmare snakes were coming out of the toilet. LOl thats what happens when you are naughty in the bathroom. I still make fun of him for that one.
He also likes to think I’m our dogs at night when they are barking. He tends to slap my ass going “Shush Link! Be quiet Sheldon!” Told him that is spousal abuse 😛
Post # 48
Neither of us sleep talk, but we’ve both smacked each other in the face while sleeping LOL. DH was apparently fighting some shadow monster and punched me in the nose….and less than a week later, I was annoyed at something in my dream and pulled really hard on whatever it was…my hand flew up in real life and slapped him. Luckily no injuries sustained hahaha!
Post # 49
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
DH more just screams the odd phrase…but oddly enough only when he drinks brandy.
some of my favourites to date:
TITTY FUCK A DOG
NO KITTY NO
Post # 50
Not in his sleep but cracks me up every time … He calls tea lights “tea tree lights” hahah
Post # 51
ok, so Fiance is terrified of snakes. Like, legitimate paranoia. So one day he was apparently having a nightmare about a snake, which I of course did not know, and I brushed up against him by accident. He literally jumped up and began screaming at the top of his lungs. Like a little girl. I was frozen in shock. When he was done screaming he told me why he freaked out, and I could NOT contain my laughter 😂
Post # 52
The first night he slept over my apartment, SO woke up screaming bloody murder about a ghost trying to get him.
after we moved in together, he rolled over, put his hand on my shoulder, and very seriously said “you are my girlfriend”. Then rolled back over and was quiet.
i had an ex boyfriend who yelled “FUCK YOU, JOHN” and punched me in the face in his sleep. Still don’t know who John is.
the posts on this thread have me CRYING laughing. I looooove it!
Post # 53
This was when we first started sleeping in the same bed. I woke up to him mumbling, and didn’t realize he was asleep, so I asked what he was saying, and clear as day he goes “Well thats a party killer, she likes stumps.” and I’m cracking up and wake him up to see what he was dreaming about and we opens his eyes, looks right at me, and goes “Who are you?”
Post # 54
he likes when I wake him up in the middle of the night to do the wild thing lol so I rolled over and started touching him and he then mumbled “how much?” I busted up laughing and woke him up 🙂
Post # 55
This actually happened to my sister, we’ll call her Sally. Sally and my Brother-In-Law live in London England. BIL has a very proper upper class London accent, and rarely ever swears, other than the odd bloody or bloody hell. I am a witch of sorts, but I don’t ride a broomstick.
SIS: *starts to stir*
SIS: *waking up*
Brother-In-Law: you’re a cunting witchwhore
SIS: I’m, I’m a what?! *upset*
Brother-In-Law: YOU’RE A, A CUNTING WITCHWHORE
SIS: you better bloody be sleep talking or we have a big problem!! *almost in tears”
Brother-In-Law: sally makes the best pies *rolls over and starts snoring*
SIS: where on earth did you pick up the term cunting witchwhore?
Brother-In-Law: pardon me? That’s incredibly rude, why are you saying that?
SIS: you called me one last night *getting visibly upset*
Brother-In-Law: oh my god, I didn’t?!?! Did I? Bloody hell I am so sorry, you are neither a, a cu..well I can’t even say that first bit, your sister is the witch, and you’re most certainly not a whore. Good god woman!
Post # 56
This thread is sooo good! I just had a few huge laughs at work. So glad my guy doesn’t whack me in his sleep!
My other half says tons of weird little things but for the most part they’re just sweet little things to me. Yesterday he mumbled, “It’ll be okay, I love you” in his sleep and didn’t remember that when he woke up. He also tends to shock himself awake when he realizes I’m not next to him and he yells in a panicking voice, “EM? EM?? EM, WHERE ARE YOU?” Once I answer he rolls right back over to sleep, doesn’t remember it later. So cute.
Post # 57
Bringing this thread back..
the other night, i woke up to him wandering around our bedroom. I asked him where he was going, and he responded with a bunch of incoherent and increasingly frustrated mumbles.
then he walked over to the bed, very matter-of-factly took his pants off, climbed back in, and didn’t make another sound.
Post # 58
He has only slept talked once and he pretty much repeatedly kept whining “I don’t knowwwww…”. So I joked that he must have been dreaming about me nagging him.
He’ll make these weird blowing air sounds similar to when you imagine a person blowing out cigar smoke. And sometimes he makes weird moans which I like to phrase as “dolphin sounds”…usually I’m frustrated at waking up and grumpy so my mean side kicks him across the bed. Poor guy…
So far I haven’t heard that I’ve done any sleep talking with Fiance. He just says I tend to shake when I fall asleep. Which is that feeling like your falling thing.
Post # 59
Oh my god my Fiance is bad for this too! I have whole conversations and lead him on lol. People say I could publish them all in a book or something. Unfortunately none come to mind right away, but then again it’s also been awhile because he has a full mask CPAP machine now and that kinda makes sleep talking hard. He used to be a terrible snorer and sleep-flailer before the machine too. He would actually hit me in the head so hard that HE would wake up (and one time I didn’t!) lol.
So I guess the moral here is that if this is accompanied by bad snoring or weird noises you should probably make sure it’s not sleep apnea. Wow. Way to bring the mood down, Caitlin. Lol
Post # 60
OK, like this. Dolphin noises? Get that man checked out for sleep apnea! He could be killing brain cells like crazy!