(Closed) SIL’s Boyfriend – Vent

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is he maybe trying too hard to impress everyone?  If he is, he would certainly come across as awkward.

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yikes, that is socially awkward.  And for your SIL to think she needs anyone’s permission to do something like a piercing or a tattoo at that age is not right.  18 is the age where you can FINALLY make all your own choices and do whatever you want.  I’m not saying he is, but it sounds like the beginning stages of an abusive relationship, whether it be emotional or physical. 

The good news is she is young, so she most likely won’t have this boyfriend forever.  Maybe they will be broken up by the fall.  If she is going to live with you, set some boundaries now.  Tell her he can’t be there every night.  Make rules for her and for him.  It’s your house and she should abide by those rules.  You can’t be uncomfortable in your own home because someone is there that makes you uncomfortable. 

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

He sounds VERY insecure.

Are you close to your SIL? Could you spend some girl time with her to talk about this guy?

Come at it from a friend aspect and see how she’s feeling.

Sometimes you need a first relationship that’s not really great to learn what you don’t want in a person.

Just let her know you are there for her as a confidant and that if she wants to know, you’ll let her know your thoughts on her bf.

Also, since she’s going to be living with you, you can make “house rules” about when he can and can’t be over. Just don’t be too strict and drive her away.

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

since this is her 1st boyfriends its to be expected that she is so attached to him and values his opinion so highly etc.. it will wear off

Post # 9
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

The boyfriend sounds socially awkward.  A lot of boys are at that age.  I’d be a tad worried about the controlling behavior.  Just keep an eye on it.  It could be that he doesn’t like drinking and piercings and just didn’t want her to get one.  Honestly, I’d be upset if my SO got a piercing.  I wouldn’t forbid him from doing it, but I’d let him know I wouldn’t love it.

Are you all renting an apartment together or something?  I really don’t think you can make rules if she is paying rent in a shared apartment.  That puts you on sort of equal footing.  You could ask that the boyfriend pay rent or utilities if he is there a lot, or you could ask her to move out b/c the place isn’t big enough for 4 people, if it comes to that.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is nice of you.  Hopefully she is respectful and doesn’t have her SO around 24/7.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is nice of you.  Hopefully she is respectful and doesn’t have her SO around 24/7.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is nice of you.  Hopefully she is respectful and doesn’t have her SO around 24/7.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is nice of you.  Hopefully she is respectful and doesn’t have her SO around 24/7.

The topic ‘SIL’s Boyfriend – Vent’ is closed to new replies.

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