(Closed) Since when did ILs get to choose my bridal party?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

dont do it – if you cave now you will be caving forever

food for thought, a coworker had a “vision” of her Fiance and his 3 brothers as GMs and their 3 wives as her BM’s – sounds good until a few days after her wedding one of the brothers announced him and his wife seperating (staying together only for the wedding) and now she has a album full of photos including a woman she never really knew and no longer talks to

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That’s totally unfair, why should her Boyfriend or Best Friend (FI) be a groomsmen? just case she’s a BM? that just doesn’t make sense.

What’s your FI’s opinion in this situation? If you’re in the same page maybe it’ll be good for him to tell his sister it’s not going to happen (better for you to stay out of it if she’s such a drama queen). Being honest I’d move mountains trying to avoid her Boyfriend or Best Friend to be a part of the bridal party just because of her commen about your sister’s Girlfriend, that was extremely rude (but that’s me).

Post # 5
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Tell her that your wedding isn’t about her relationship, it’s about you. And your wedding party is a reflection of who has made an impact in your life, not who’s dating who.

Post # 6
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@eloping: if you cave now you will be caving forever …So true!

Post # 7
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My sister is Maid/Matron of Honor her Fiance of 5 years is a guest nothing more because he is hers, not mine

Post # 8
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think you should do what feels best for you.  It is your wedding so you can share the day with whoever you choose.  If someone isn’t in the bridal party but is invited as a guest.. who cared??!  It is not as if you are excluding him from the wedding lol.  My Fiance and I had decided to have 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 3 Groomsmen.  I am having my best friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and then my sister and FI’s sister as BMs.  My Fiance is still undecided on his thrid Groomsmen but he has already chosen his best friend as Best Man and then a childhood friend as another Groomsmen.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up asking FSIL’s SO because they have nearly been together as long as we have and we are all very close.  If Fiance chooses FSIL’s SO I will be very happy!  But I guess the differene between our situations is that you don’t know your FSIL’s SO… not to mention the fact that your Fiance doesn’t even know him that well lol.  I think when it comes to chooing people for your bridal party you need to choose people that are important to you and that you can call a close friend.  If you keep trying to impress everyone you won’t have the wedding of your dreams.  I am coming to terms with this now as I write my guest list… you need to draw the line and invite the people that you know well and would be thankful and appreciate sharing your special day with you.  Don’t feel obligagted ‘just because’ he is dating your Future Sister-In-Law.  You are already including her in the party.. isn’t that enough? lol   

Post # 9
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Just make it clear that the bridal party is already set and isn’t going to change.  

If she insists, I would tell your sister in law it’s her choice.  She can either stay on as a bridesmaid and accept that her “fiance” will be in the guest section, or she stay in solidarity with him and join him.

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