(Closed) Since when is it ok to judge someone to their face?!?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I was babysitting last summer. I had 11 and 13 year old boys with me. I’m 22.  Someone told me my told me my sons were cute and I got all sorts of weird looks. 1: No I didn’t have a son when I was 9. 2. Mind your business

Post # 18
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It drives me nuts!  I’m sorry you had to go through that OP.  It stinks and it’s obnoxious. 

I have 7 younger siblings.  The youngest 4 are 12-16 years younger than I am, and all of us look very similar (we all got our dad’s eyes).  I was babysitting for my mom one day and had all 4 of them at the grocery store (they were ages 5, 4, 2 and 6 months at the time).  A lady marched up to me as we were shopping and started telling me all of this stuff about “What are you thinking?!? You’re WAY too young to have this many kids!  Do you have any idea how irresponsible you’re being?  What kind of parents let you do this?  You’re setting a horrible example for your children to follow!” and then stormed off, continuing to talk with her friend about what a horrible person I was. 

Never once did she let me tell her that they were my siblings.  I told my parents later and they were appalled.  I had no idea that people could be so rude. 

Post # 19
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

In this society, many people believe there is an “acceptable” or “right” age to hit the milestones of life. There is also a real lack of respect for other people’s private decisions which go against the grain. I experience this as a childfree woman. 

Some people have no class. 

 

Post # 21
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My beat friend has twins and I used to take them out. (I was 22)When they were maybe 8 weeks I took them to the mall pushed them around in a double stroller and several people said to me.. Those can’t be yours there is no way. Only elderly people believed they were my own 

Post # 22
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

Haha wow! Don’t people know better than to antagonize people who handle their food?

Post # 23
Member
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I also would rather be judged to my face than behind my back.

In her defense, 20 is pretty young to be married. My mother was 19, but that was 40 years ago. Things have changed & you don’t see brides as young as you anymore. 

Post # 24
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@atacrossroads:  Agreed!

@MissSweetiepie:  RIGHT?? I was a waitress and while I don’t think I’d ever do something to someone’s food…no one was ever REALLY horrible to me (except one group who ran out on their check, but obviously it’s too late to do anything to them at that point haha).

But some of my coworkers would have spit in their stir-fry for a comment like that!

And the VAST majority of people I worked with would discuss the customers, so they would def have been making fun of her as “old” she gave one of them crap for being young. 

Post # 25
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Rubbs:  

While I agree that 20 is young to get married, I think it is quite common in certain groups. Religious couples tend to marry younger than average. I have also noticed that teenage mothers marry younger as well. 

 

Post # 26
Member
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@PositiveThinking:  That’s true. You make a good point. I see that sometimes with my students’ parents. 

Post # 27
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@MissSweetiepie:  Woooah that is so not ok! You are on the younger end but in no way does that make it ok for a complete STRANGER to be so opinionated! or so damn rude! Definitely ignore it. People do/say the darndest things!

Post # 28
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it is always ok to judge them to their face if you judge them at all (in fact it’s sooooo much better than being two-faced), but it’s only ok to judge people for ethical things.

Post # 29
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Rubbs:  +1, exactly. If I got married at 20, my life would be a trainwreck. Obviously everyone is not the same, but we tend to judge based on our own frame of reference. I wouldn’t have worried myself over my server’s life let alone comment on it during my date, but I can understand her thinking.

Post # 30
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

At the farmers market someone commented that my 12-year-old niece was the mother of my one-year-old niece. Uh, NO. I mean, she’s tall, but come on. It’s her sister.

 

 

 

Post # 31
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I am 19 years old, turning 20 next month, and we are getting married in October. I feel like if someone really takes the time to notice my age and judge my situation when they don’t know me, I feel flattered they took that much precious time to think about little old me 🙂 lol

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