(Closed) Since when is it ok to judge someone to their face?!?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is this post actually a thinly veiled humblebrag? I can’t decide.

Post # 34
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I just thought of something funny…we are ALL judging people for being judgmental! 

Laughing I am just as guilty of that as anyone else who has contributed to this thread.

I try to brush off snide remarks from strangers, although I understand how annoying it is when you keep hearing condescending things. 

 

Post # 36
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

That woman was definitely being rude, but I feel like sometimes when people say “You’re too young to have a X year old kid!” they might be attempting to be complimentary. In our society people tend to think the younger they look the better. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying that I don’t think that everyone is trying to be insulting, although some probably are.

Post # 37
Member
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

When I was pregnant, I had a customer say “You look too young to be pregnant!”. I said, “Well I’m 27…” and she said “Oh…”. I’ve always had people think I look younger than I am, but even if I was really young, I was pregnant, so how is that comment helpful?

Post # 38
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

I’m 22 and my friends and I get this all the time. When will older people understand that “looking young” is not a compliment to us? Young people look young. This isn’t something special. I think they’ve just lost scope of what certain ages look like. If it’s been like 30 or 40 years since they were our age, they’re not going to be keen on the differences between a 19 year old and a 23 year old. (Of course, talk about their age and it’s a different story..) I was at a group game night with a wide variety of ages, but I spent my night at a table of 35-60 year olds, talking about college, work, adult stuff, and from nowhere, some older guy (maybe 40?) comes over to me with a cell phone problem declaring he will “ask a teenager.” Even when I corrected him, and easily solved the problem (twice, when he came back because he forgot what I told him 2 seconds ago), it didn’t occur to him to apologize. I teach children, too, so if I’m out with a friend and mention “my children,” I’ll get side glances. And one time my SO, who is pretty short for a guy, and I were out at a bar with some friends and the bartender who checked his ID stared at it for literally 2 minutes. It was really inappropriate. Funny thing was he was the oldest one out of all of us, and she didn’t check anyone else’s ID. 

Post # 39
Member
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@julies1949:  +1 

@MissSweetiepie:  I would rather be judged to my face than behind my back but wow, that was incredibly rude! Don’t worry about it though. You know what they say about opinions! (They’re like assholes, everybody’s got one! lol) 

Post # 40
Member
6301 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MissSweetiepie:  I had a customer at work do this. If I’m bored, I flick through wedding magazines; it’s just a bit of fun. Anyway, this guy was always catching me reading them, and always made a sarcastic comment. Then one day he starts asking what I do, if I’m at university, etc; and I said I’ve completed my MA and am doing a PhD. He obviously does the maths, and works out I must be at least 23, and looks visibly shocked. So he then asked how old I am, and I said 27.

His entire attitude changed instantly, and he’s been very different since. I found it amusing, as he obviously thought I was in my late teens rather than late 20s; but at the same time I found it deeply irritating. So what if I WAS younger? Who the hell is he to ask, or judge? RUDE!

Post # 41
Member
13578 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, she’s rude, but at least you know it.  I’d rather know if someone was judging me, rather than them secretly talking about me behind my back!

Post # 42
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Im constantly judged..Ill be 24 in May and I have friends from school tell me im too young to get married, that my Fiance is too old for me and ive even had a guy look at my ring and say “if it was me Id get you an actual diamond and bigger than that” (mines a 1.22 morganite)..

People are extremely rude…When you are really truly happy, you have no desire to judge people like that…its when your not satisfied with your own life that you start putting down others

Post # 43
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Country Club

@eliseemma:  are we living the same lives? Im 25, we dont have twins, but everyone think they are when we go out because they’re very close together in age and size, and looks.. Either way, I find it incredibly annoying when people just blatantly give that damn “are they both yours!? Omg, but you are so young to be married and have kids”- kind of attitude.  ugh, I can’t help to get snappy about it sometimes, unfortunately,  it gets old.

 

Post # 44
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

What a classy lady. The next time anything remotely related to this happens again, I think a curt, “I know, I don’t look my age,” (even if they directly ask for your age) is enough to get the point across – while still hopefully preserving your tips. If they press for a number, I’d give a, “I’m not comfortable talking about this.”

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