(Closed) Since when is there a time limit on engagements???? vent!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I get what you’re saying. You get that pressure “So when’s the big day?” almost immediately after becoming engaged now. We didn’t settle on a firm date until a few months ago and have been engaged for a little while (though not 2 years, but still). I agree that it’s strange. I always wanted to say “What’s it to you?” Lol.

To each their own is my stance on a LOT of issues (age upon marriage, length of engagement, length of time dating pre-engagement, etc.) Of course I have the way I choose to do it, which isn’t the same way a LOT of people choose to do it and it’s all going to be just fine. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We Do have the money for a ring (already bought) and a wedding (if we wanted to have it next year) BUT we are waiting until the end of 2013 to have our wedding because we want it to be everything we’ve ever dreamed of! We are also wanting to foot the bill ourselves so it will take us a little longer! I dont care what anyone thinks about our plan! It gives us plenty of time to find the best deals and for me to get my braces off at the beginning of 2013!

 

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ll be honest – I do not understand long engagements. BUT ONLY because mine will have been just over a year by the time we get married, and Fiance and I both agree we should have done this months ago just to move on with our lives.

I was never in the “waiting” category; I knew I wanted to marry Fiance eventually, but didn’t spend much (or any) time thinking about getting engaged or planning a wedding until after he gave me my ring. But then, I couldn’t think of anything else – there were so many decisions to be made, so much to DO. Having it be on the back of my mind for a year has been driving me crazy – I would rather have had a psychotic 5 months and been married already!

So, I know it’s not coming from the same place that the comments you’re getting sound like they are coming from, but it’s another perspective. Some people just can’t imagine doing a long engagment; they figure why not just date and enjoy each other so you don’t have to be thinking about some long-distant wedding for that much time.

Post # 6
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, I hear you. We were going to wait, but it just makes more sense to get married now, and even though our wedding isn’t perfect, it’s shaping up to be pretty nice with what we’ve got.

Post # 8
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh definitely – just because I would go insane, doesn’t mean I would judge anyone else for doing it. That would be really dumb. So yeah, they’re dumb.

P.S. I originally wrote “their dumb” without thinking about it. Read it, and laughed out loud. Who’s dumb again?

Post # 9
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@baliahi1029: I had a year and a half engagement… I’m not really sure why we wanted to get engaged, I guess it was just that we wanted to make it official that we’d get married, and we wanted to experience the excitement about the wedding. We didn’t really plan a timeline, it just worked out this way. I think it’s more of a dedication, saying, I have no doubt in my mind we’ll get married. It just seems more symbolic and meaningful than saying “we’ll get married someday”, to actually say “I know I want to marry you soon”

I know you weren’t judging or anything, but I had never really thought about it before so I tried to answer the question… lol. It just seemed right for us I guess.

Post # 10
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Our engagment will be 18 months total and some people have made comments that even this is too long. I don’t know why my love/marriage life is anyone else’s concern.

That being said people will make their comments about anything and everything. If they can’t complain about your long engagement they will complain that you aren’t engaged. Just tune them out and enjoy your lives together, I personally have become very good at this.

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i understand that some weddings take time to plan and save for but if someone sets a date 4yrs in advance im like oh honey, talk to me when its closer – doesnt mean you are not engaged (and i wouldnt think that)  but i cant invest a lot of my interest in something that far away. 

one of my NZ employees has been engaged for about 10yrs – shes about 40yrs old and shows no interest in doing anything else, i think she really has the ring to make social situations a bit easier, meaning shes too old to be a girlfriend so fiance/partner sounds better i guess

Post # 12
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

My engagement is going to be at least another year or two. (We’ve been engaged since March). But it’s because we’re younger, so no one has really said anything about it, but it has been frustrating because waiting sucks. Haha. I definitely would judge someone for having a long engagement…more power to them! It’s a lot harder, so I think it’s really impressive when people can be so patient and content. I’d rather be engaged for a long period of time if I can’t get married right away because we live together and I wanted a bigger commitment. The only reason we aren’t married is because we’re saving money and getting our lives organized seperately so it’ll be a smoother transition when we combine everything πŸ™‚ 

We aren’t going to set an official date and tell everyone until it’s about a year/year and a half out or so haha. &&I don’t think I could wait 4 years lol.

Post # 13
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@agirlwithdreams7:

I don’t think two years is a terribly long engagement. πŸ˜‰ At least it’s not here. I think our friends that got married fastest were engaged about that long.

The place we would like to get married only does them on Saturday. Period. So to get our date on a Saturday…

Post # 14
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I can’t stand when I see “if you’re not planning a wedding, you’re not really engaged.” Oh really? Says who?! I struggled with the idea of a long engagement at first, but now I am okay with it, even relieved. I have school to finish, and I have projects on the go. I get to spend my late nights on the computer dreaming up whatever I want to, and not having to worry about actually DOING anything yet.

Post # 15
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dont think 2 years is stupidly  long or anything. Mine is 18 months, I think its a standard amount of time.

3-4 and I honestly think “why wait?” its usually really young peeps who wait 3-4 years though.

Post # 16
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve caught some flak for our long engagement. He proposed Nov. 25, 2010 and we’re getting married Sept. 22, 2012. We could have gotten married right away, hell, he proposed in Vegas! But we had things we wanted to do before we got married. I finished my 1st degree, he finished his MBA. We’ve had time to just enjoy being engaged without the pressure of planning a wedding. I’m also planning a wedding in MI from FL, so the more time the better really.

Most of the comments I’ve gotten are mild, passive aggressive remarks that I just let roll off my back. What they say has no bearing on our marraige, when it happens in JUST OVER A YEAR! WOOT!

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