(Closed) Since when is there a time limit on engagements???? vent!!!!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL

@misschickpea: 100% agree with you. I got engaged in July and I’m not getting married until Feb 2013 for the same reasons. Spreading payments out over a long span of time is better for us, and it gives me plenty of time to find the best deals, take my time with my DIY projects, and to not stress over a time-crunch!

Post # 48
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We had a 4 year+1 month engagement. It was because we knew we wanted to get married to eachother, but our careers weren’t where we wanted them to be at that time (June 2007) and we were still young (I was 21, him 24) and since we’d have to pay for the wedding ourselves, we knew we should just take our time. When people used to ask when the big day was I’d just say we weren’t in any hurry and when we’ll feel like it’s time, we’ll let them know. We ended up deciding that it was time this January (2011) and planned a July wedding and people were all super supportive, although I heard a few “about time!” comments. But it wasn’t in a mean spirit.

Post # 49
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Our engagement was about 21 months… wow, I just realized that!  WHew, that seems long.  But I knew I couldn’t pull a wedding together in less than a year and I wanted a spring wedding (we got engaged in fall of 2010).

Post # 50
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m really tired at the looks I get when I tell them my date! I can relate! It’s not so much because of money it’s because I want to finish school and my Fiance is getting settled after graduating next month. Everyone has their own timing and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that!

Post # 51
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

While I do think being engaged means setting a date to be married, I see nothing wrong with long engagements at all! Different circumstances arrise and things need to be delayed. Me and my fiance’ will have been engaged for two years when we finally get married next summer. We would have gotten married the same day if we could have! Well, ofcourse we COULD have had a small and simple wedding, but it was so important to me that I get married in my church. Since Fiance is divorced they required him to get his first marriage annulled (my church doesn’t recognize divorce) which was an 8 month long process. I would have been willing to trade the concept of a proper wedding (we don’t have much money either) so that we didnt’ have to wait, but I was not willing to marry outside my church, so we waited and in the meantime we decided why not wait a little longer so that we can put together an amazing wedding. I do run into people who think it’s weird, but that’s their opinion and I respect when people don’t udnerstand why you’d want to wait any longer than necessary if you truly want to get married…but I guess I’ve always known we’d get married. One of us will have to die before it just doesn’t happen! lol. I even had a friend tell me she thinks couples should hurry  up and get married once they are engaged because if they don’t it might never happend. Sounds like hogwash to me….sounds like someone is in a hurry to lock things down and I don’t view marriage that way.

Post # 52
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance and I have been engaged for over a year now and our wedding still isn’t for another 2 years.  I don’t think there should be a time limit on an engagement either.  I know when people ask me when I’m getting married and I tell them 2013 they look at me like I’m weird and then say “Why so long?” Well A) its none of your business why. B) We’d like to have a nice wedding we can afford and 2 years gives us plenty of time to save for it and plan. C) did I mention its none of your business.

 

Post # 53
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Aerya: This post has made my day, this would probably be how long we would wait. 

I’m not bothered if people think our engagment is too long or the fact we haven’t got a date set. Were trying to sort out our careers. Our life. Were saving up for a morgage so we don’t have to rent. Then will sort out money for a wedding. 

I’m completely happy to wait. I love weddings but I want to make sure I have a nice home first. And then Enough money to have a nice wedding. We’re only going to do this once we want to go full out and make it something special. But at the same time I want a nice place to live and enjoy with my husband after i’m married. 

His proposed we want to spend the rest of our life together. I am in no rush i’ve got plenty of time. Everyone has been commenting and saying to us. Why arn’t you engaged. You still haven’t popped the question. Now were engaged everyone is asking for dates. Nooo I’m just going to enjoy being engaged. 

Every couple is different both finacially and in they’re personal lives. No one should judge others. 

Post # 54
Member
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’ve been feeling the same way. We’ve been together for four years and are highschool sweethearts as well. Although we are young and still finishing up our degrees, it baffles me when people give me a funny look when I say 2013–I always feel like I have to explain why it’s not “next” year. I got engaged on my birthday in November of 2010 by the way 🙂

So yes, it’s a long engagement because we’re preparing for our futures. Of course, we’d loved to get married tomorrow if we were able to! If anything, I think we’re being smart about waiting–due to our circumstances.

I was expressing this deep, deep frustration to my fiance a while back and he said, “Hmmm, is there a time limit on being engaged?” And then we both started laughing…and I felt so much better.

I also laughed out loud when I read the title of this thread because that’s exactly what he said to me!

~Everyone is on a different path, journey, etc. and there is a different timing for everything. Some get married slower, quicker, younger, or older than others. I don’t think there’s a “right” time to be married because we are all different and possess different purposes. Anyway, that’s my two cents! Stay encouraged and focus on the important things as you are right now! I hope all this makes sense, I’m so tired as I’m typing all this! 🙂

Post # 55
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@agirlwithdreams7: We got engaged December 2009 :). I’m right there with you. You’re the bride, you make the rules. Enjoy your special day! It will be that much more special that you waited and took your time and enjoyed your engagement!

Bless you and your soon to be husband!

Post # 56
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AmeliaBedelia:  Yes people are nosy. We got the date questions almost immediately and from the same people repeatedly.

Post # 57
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

 

Post # 58
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@seven12:  did they have stats to back this up?

Post # 59
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

HEY! I hear you all the way… My fiance and I had a similar issue. We wanted to get married but we didnt have to be married right away. Thats how we felt and thats what we meant but when he brought up the idea to my fam and friends they all said that we MUST get married within a year or so. “what’s the point of getting engaged, if your gonna wait to get married”, is what they said. We know we want to get married, we just need to make sure that we have enough money! If it were up to me, I would have gone to the JOP and called it a NIGHT but everyone else felt that we should have a wedding. The same people that werent contributing a dime! Very annoying.

We have indeed set a date and are getting our money together but anywayssss… I know exactly how you feel about this issue. As long as you both know that you want to get married, its up to you to determine how long you want to be engaged! There shouldnt be a time limit!

Post # 60
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@longtime_no_Si:  The point of getting engaged when you don’t want to get married right away is so that people will stop asking you why you aren’t engaged )

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