Post # 1
I just had a destination wedding in the second week of September to somewhere that travelling itself took 2 days (that’s 4 including the trip back). The whole event was relatively short and intense; I was back in a week. It was a small cozy intimate wedding in a small town where my husband grew up.
First of all, the moment I get back my friends asked to see pictures. I understand that unless you’ve been through the wedding stuff before you might not know that you won’t be getting your photos from the professional photog RIGHT AFTER the wedding. I explained, but they kept asking everyday if the photos had come in yet…when I politely said no it will take time, they started saying “we don’t need to see the super-retouched-dreamy ones, we just want to see something!. It did start to get on my nerve but I just kept smiling.
So a week after the wedding I managed to beg my brother to download all the photos from his camera and rush them to me. I was very excited to see them and I printing them out and started showing them around…what I wasn’t prepared for was the comments I might not want to hear.
It started with one of my evening class teachers that never met my husband, when she saw the pics she said “Oh, I was expecting your husband to be slim and good looking!”. I thought I could just laugh that one and we’ll move on but she kept on commenting that I was so pretty in the photos and I could have found someone much better. Now when she sees me she will joke about my husband’s weight. Maybe it’s her way of complimenting that I looked beautiful on the wedding day but I’m not really appreciating it, her comments make me feel like she’s saying I settled with something much less than I should have.
Next comment was from my coworkers, after showing the pics to a girl at work she flipped through them looking really bored and said “Oh, your wedding was so simple, where I come from it’s much bigger and it costs at least $15K”. My other coworker just flipped through them quickly and said nothing. Ok…I am only showing them to you guys because you asked me the first day I got back here…
Last was a close friend, after showing them to him he just said “haha funny, thanks for sharing!”
So after showing the pics to 5 people and 4 gave me innocent responses (I try to believe they weren’t intentionally making me feel bad) that hurt my feelings it started to take the excitement from the wedding away. I know not everyone has to go gaga over my wedding photos but if you aren’t really interested or don’t think you can manage a polite and neutral comment, why bother to ask me to show you photos??
Am I being ridiculously sensitive?? Was I expecting too much from my friends??…sorry for complaining…
Post # 3
No you’re not being insensitive! What’s wrong with these people, anyways?
I would be firm to anyone that wants to say these things to your face. To your teacher, I would ask her to please stop making comments about your husband, as she’s never met him and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
To your coworkers and friends, I would just let those slide (the ones that already commented) but if anyone else were to say anything, I would definitely say to them–“well, it might not be your taste, but I had the wedding I always wanted. I guess you’ll get your shot/you got your shot before, so to each their own.” Don’t let them bring you down! Be proud of your wedding if you loved it!
Post # 4
Wow, I’m so sorry that they treated you that way. That was very rude of them, and I certainly would be just as upset as you, so no, I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive.
Post # 5
100% agree with cinemaparadiso. Sounds like they were just being nosy.
Post # 6
Oh my god! I am so sorry people said those things to you. Your teacher is obviously rude and obnoxious, I can’t believe she doesn’t realize how offensive she is. Honestly, I would feel the same way if my friends said similar things to me. I know it is hard but don’t let anyone’s opinions ruin your memory of that day. If I were you I wouldn’t show them to any of my friends anymore. I would simply say “I have been getting alot of rude comments from people and it has kind of hurt my feelings so I have decided not to show them to non family members anyomore. If they persist than it is likely they will be careful not to be rude. But honestly, you don’t own them anything. Those pictures are for you and your family.
Post # 7
Bravo cinemaparadiso! I agree whole heartedly.
Anniephd, you are NOT being insensitive. These people are being extremely, ridiculously rude. Really. It’s unconscionable.
Hold your head up high and congratulations on your wedding!!!
Post # 8
@ Anniephd – I am so sorry that people treated you this way. They are all acting quite immature, inappropriate, and down right ridiculous. First of all, who does that teacher think she is to make comments about other people’s husband’s weight? Her response no matter what she thinks, pretty much about anything, should have been something kind, wonderful and happy. I for one, am embarressed FOR HER! How rude. You have a definite right to feel hurt – these people, I can’t believe how they are acting! IMO, simple weddings are some of the most elegant. As long as you are happy, they should be happy for you – I know I am! 🙂 I’d chalk it (their responses) up to jealosy.
P.S. I’m so proud of you for being ‘the bigger person’ and not going off on them for this silliness. Oooh man, I would have had to bite my tongue if they would have said that stuff to me… 🙂
Post # 9
You are absolutely justified in the way that you feel, those were all incrediably rude comments! Please try not to let that cloud your beautiful memories!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
I think it’s great that you didn’t get mad and start screaming at them. However, when people are being cruel and inappropriate, the best response is to politely & firmly put them in their place. No one has the right to say these things to you, and you owe it to yourself and your peace of mind to tell them to stop it.
Post # 11
Well, if it makes you feel any better, my guess is that there’s a lil’ bit of green eyed monster going on. Usually when people act that way, there is. So take pride in knowing something about your wedding was probably fabulous enough to make people jealous.
Women can be catty, and nothing brings that out more than wedding envy!
I went to a wedding last year that was a wee bit miserable. It rained, it was freezing and the heaters weren’t working, and the site hadn’t been maintained properly. Do you know what every single one of us friends said when we saw the photos? It was awesome, fantastic, gorgeous, the most beautiful wedding I could have imagined for you. Because that’s what you’re supposed to say about weddings, unless you were raised by wolves!!!
Post # 12
Wow. Just wow. I would have been floored if people said those things about my wedding photos, especially when they were harassing you to see them! These people must have been raised on a different planet – how rude!! Especially the comments regarding your husband’s weight!
There is NOTHING wrong with a simple wedding (although I may be a bit biased, becuase I am having one). Sometimes people just have their own vision of what a wedding “should be” and how much you should spend, etc. Just ignore them – I am sure your wedding was a beautiful reflection of you and your husband’s committment to one another, and that is all that matters.
Enjoy those photos 🙂
Post # 13
Wow! People can be so strange, can’t they?? You don’t have to stop showing pictures to people who ask, it’s your wedding and your right to show it off! Don’t be bothered by things people say, they’re just jealous and obviously raised by wolves.
Post # 14
Those responses are bizarre for sure! Try not to take it personally, and I wouldn’t show those rude people any more photos either.
Post # 15
Try not to take them personally. Some people just say things without fully thinking them through or knowing the way they come off. If you love the pictures that is all that matters…who care what everyone else thinks?!
Post # 16
People are rude and speak without thinking. I also agree that sometimes people are just nosey!! I know its hurtful to hear comments you dont expect to hear, but dont worry yourself over them, it isnt worth your time! It doesnt matter what their opinion was on the wedding, your groom, if you are happy with everything thats all that matters! Ive always try to stick with, if I dont have something nice to say, dont say anything at all!! Keep proudly showing off your pictures!! 🙂