Post # 1
We are in the process of booking some musicians for our ceremony. They can also provide vocalists if we want them to sing a song or two during the ceremony. My mom suggested a couple songs to me that we could have them sing, but I ran the idea by FH last night and
1) he hates one of the two songs my mom suggested,
2) he said he hates singing at weddings and thinks it’s cheesy and over the top.
Furthermore he’s been to a lot of weddings (as a guest or working as a dj), and he claims he’s never seen anyone play a song in the middle of the ceremony. I was like, really? Because I haven’t even been to THAT many weddings, and I can remember at least two or three off the top of my head where they did that. I don’t think it’s that unusual. (Granted, the couple times I’ve seen it done, it wasn’t executed the best and it was a little awkward, but I’m not against the idea in theory.)
Regardless, he does think it’s a good idea to have a song playing while we light the unity candle and such, but he thinks it should just be an instrumental piece that the musicians play, not anything with singing. He’s afraid that a vocalist will distract from us because it will seem awkward and people will be looking around wondering who’s singing and then we won’t be the center of attention. This is only the second thing he’s been adamant about for the wedding, so I know he has strong opinions about it and I respect that.
It is probably a moot point for us, given his opinions, but I’m just curious to get other people’s take: What do you think about having a vocalist sing during the ceremony? At your own wedding or weddings you’ve attended as a guest, did it add to or detract from the experience?
Post # 2
The only time I’ve seen music in the middle of the ceremony is during a religious ceremony in a church (hymn). I’d tend to agree with your husband’s view on this. What are people supposed to do during the song? I just find it sort of awkward just sitting there and listening to music for 3+ minutes. That would feel like a strangely long time. If you do decide to do the music, I agree with your fiance-no singing. That definitely seems awkward to me.
Post # 3
I agree with your Fiance. I think it’s cheesy and unnecessary.
Post # 4
I’ve been to two weddings that had singing. Both times it was super awkward but that’s really because 1) they had bizarre song choices 2) they people they chose to sing weren’t good singers and 3) we had to listen to the whole 3-4 minute song even though whatever was happening during the ceremony took less than a minute so everyone just stood around awkwardly.
I’m sure there are weddings where it’s been done well but that hasn’t been my experience.
Post # 5
Wedding singer here so obviously my opinion is biased, I have only ever been to a wedding that had no music during the ceremony and it was super awkward. The bride and groom moved over the sign the registry and it was just awkward silence broken up only by the quiet muttering of the minister instructing them on where to sign.
When I perform at weddings it is almost always during the signing of the registry. It gives the guests a nice break while you are signing. There isn’t really anything interesting about the signing for the guests to watch. Having music will also stop them from talking and making the awkwardness worse.
That being said, if you are dead set against having a singer you can always ask your musicians to “noddle around” during that part. They can vamp on the melody of the song you choose to walk in to or another favourite song of your choice
Post # 6
I’m on team Fiance – no singing, but live music is lovely.
Post # 7
I think singing would really distract from the actual ceremony. Instrumental is fine, but lyrics are awkward. Especially since it would be a live singer.
I’ve never heard of a song in the middle of the ceremony. An entrance song, quiet ceremony music, and an exit song, that’s it for the many weddings I’ve been to.
Post # 8
We had singing during the signing of the register. My bff sang an amazing song then we had a couple of other songs played until we were done.
It didn’t distract at all on a bad way because what we were doing was super boring for our guests anyway
Post # 9
I wouldn’t do the singing during the middle of the ceremony, but I think during the signing of the registry or as an exit song it would be fine and could be lovely.
I’d only do it if your Fiance agreed though, and definitely don’t do the song he hates.
The only time I saw a live singer during a ceremony was my aunt’s wedding in the mid-90’s. She’s an opera singer so instead of vows she sang a song to him. I don’t remember it since I was a kid, but I saw the wedding video. My mom says she thought it was kind of weird but also typical of her lol.
Post # 11
awkward. I wouldn’t like it.
Post # 12
mrsziggy : I think I am in the minority here. I’ve actually seen it done well! A beautiful song in the middle of a catholic ceremony. I think it just depends on the performers and when you choose to use them. I have a friend doing a long reading from Song of Solomon and he’s in the same band as a the guy doing guitar for our wedding. I gave them license to put together something original if they wanted to. Lol I can’t wait to see what they do! I’m debating if we’re going to have the first and last song of our ceremony sung. Our friend is in my FI’s band, and he also does solo shows and he’s amazing. If people don’t love his performance they have no soul.
littleanchor : I don’t think it’s awkward to sit and listen to a song. People sit and listen to concerts all the time. And at church your often sit and listen to a performance. I think you just have to make sure it’s a good prefomer and a solid song choice. Like who couldn’t use a little Ave Maria during the signing of the register? As long as it was done well.
ETA Harry and Meghan had several choirs sing during their wedding. I loved the stand by me so much I’m having it as my exit song! Not sure if it will be sung though.
Post # 13
My SO’s cousin recently got married, and her husband is a singer-songwriter (not big-time, but as a hobby). He wrote a song for her and performed it in the middle of the ceremony. I thought it was a little awkward as an audience member, but ultimately very sweet. Overall, I had positive feelings. 🙂
Post # 14
Super awkward IMO, unless it’s like at a church ceremony.
Post # 15
It’s bizarre to me that anyone would find this awkward… cheesy depends on the song choice IMO. Music, instrumental or vocal or both, is a really normal staple of many types of ceremonies, including weddings. You sit and listen to it, just like in church or a concert – how is that more awkward than sitting and listening to vows, readings, etc?