Single friends when you're married

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

They now refer to me as “the married friend” 

Post # 3
Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I have one friend who constantly says, “I can’t come to you with my problems because you’re married and happy and I don’t want to rain on that.” Which I think is ridiculous and I tell her every time that being married doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to be a friend. It’s weird but I keep telling her that our friendship doesn’t have to change. Everyone else behaves they way they did before, though.

Post # 4
Member
2557 posts
Sugar bee

I haven’t really noticed a change, our friendship(s) isn’t based on my relationship status. Now, we just acknowledge I’m married and I’m going to consider my husband in my plans.

Post # 5
Hostess
3703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

One of my best friends in the whole world is perpetually single. We are older (mid 30’s) and we have been really good friends since we were 16. She has been my friend all through my first marriage crashing and burning, me dating a bunch of losers, and finally getting married again. She has been supportive and patient through all my crap lol. I wish she would find someone who she wanted to be with, but there are a lot of circumstances preventing that right now. I feel like our relationship status has never had any bearing on our friendship because we’ve been through them all. I have a couple other single friends, but no one as close as her. I’ve honestly never thought that being single or married would affect a friendship. It hasn’t in my case. 

Post # 6
Member
794 posts
Busy bee

I still have a couple single best friends. It has not changed our relationships at all. But our idea of hanging out is getting dinner, going to the movies, etc. If our friendships consisted of going to bars and drinking, things would probably be a lot different 

Post # 7
Member
8644 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

clairhuxtable :  I’ve never heard that before and can’t imagine why it would be true. Seems completely bizarre to me. Unless the person getting married suddenly thinks they’re somehow superior now and starts acting obnoxious. I was the first of my friend group to get married and it didn’t change a thing. Having kids changed things because having kids literally changes things. What does marriage change?

Post # 8
Member
9369 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Being married doesn’t mean your friendships have to change. I have single friends, married, friends, divorced friends. Whatever stage of a relationship we are all in we are still friends because those friendships have nothing to do with our relationship status.

I did know a couple who got married really young and started acting like that made them superior to anyone who wasn’t married. They lost a lot of their single friends. 

Post # 9
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think much of the dynamic changed when some friends got married and some of us were still single. However, having babies is a different story, at least for me. I’m just finding my friends with children are just in a different place in life and not interested in the same things/conversations. 

Post # 12
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

So what are you supposed to do with those of your friends who are single on the day of your wedding – dump them, or get them forcibly married off?

Post # 13
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee

maybe that’s what the weddinh is about. It’s not about celebrating your love, but a farewell party to your friendship.

I actually know someone who threw a baby hower that was a massive party because that will be last time they will see their friends. THey were serious and it wasn’t a joke. I also have a (former) friend that right after the wedding started having exclusively couples get togethers and couldn’t do anything individually.

in general I don’t think it should change anything.

Post # 14
Member
8644 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

clairhuxtable :  Hm, so weird. Especially these days when most people live with their partners before getting married anyway. “Can’t go out as much”? But why though? Makes no sense. 

Post # 15
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’ve only been married for 8 months but we’ve been together since our teens so I’ve always been the one with a boyfriend. I’ve known my husband longer than I’ve known most of my friends lol. So no, no change for me. 

 

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