Post # 1
Before I was engaged and after, I’ve heard some variation of the phrase you can’t have single friends when you’re married. What does this phrase mean to ya’ll? Do you think that it’s more difficult to be friends with single people when your married? Married bees did notice your relationships change with your single friends after you got married?
Post # 2
They now refer to me as “the married friend”
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I have one friend who constantly says, “I can’t come to you with my problems because you’re married and happy and I don’t want to rain on that.” Which I think is ridiculous and I tell her every time that being married doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to be a friend. It’s weird but I keep telling her that our friendship doesn’t have to change. Everyone else behaves they way they did before, though.
Post # 4
I haven’t really noticed a change, our friendship(s) isn’t based on my relationship status. Now, we just acknowledge I’m married and I’m going to consider my husband in my plans.
Post # 5
One of my best friends in the whole world is perpetually single. We are older (mid 30’s) and we have been really good friends since we were 16. She has been my friend all through my first marriage crashing and burning, me dating a bunch of losers, and finally getting married again. She has been supportive and patient through all my crap lol. I wish she would find someone who she wanted to be with, but there are a lot of circumstances preventing that right now. I feel like our relationship status has never had any bearing on our friendship because we’ve been through them all. I have a couple other single friends, but no one as close as her. I’ve honestly never thought that being single or married would affect a friendship. It hasn’t in my case.
Post # 6
I still have a couple single best friends. It has not changed our relationships at all. But our idea of hanging out is getting dinner, going to the movies, etc. If our friendships consisted of going to bars and drinking, things would probably be a lot different
Post # 7
clairhuxtable : I’ve never heard that before and can’t imagine why it would be true. Seems completely bizarre to me. Unless the person getting married suddenly thinks they’re somehow superior now and starts acting obnoxious. I was the first of my friend group to get married and it didn’t change a thing. Having kids changed things because having kids literally changes things. What does marriage change?
Post # 8
Being married doesn’t mean your friendships have to change. I have single friends, married, friends, divorced friends. Whatever stage of a relationship we are all in we are still friends because those friendships have nothing to do with our relationship status.
I did know a couple who got married really young and started acting like that made them superior to anyone who wasn’t married. They lost a lot of their single friends.
Post # 9
I don’t think much of the dynamic changed when some friends got married and some of us were still single. However, having babies is a different story, at least for me. I’m just finding my friends with children are just in a different place in life and not interested in the same things/conversations.
Post # 10
SittingWaitingWishing : Yeah I can understand how children could change friendships.
Post # 11
Daisy_Mae : I’ve heard it a few times from diffrent people and thought it was bizarre as well, I kind of assumed they meant when you get married you can’t go out as much as when you were single but I’m not really sure, that’s why I posed the question.
For the record I personally don’t think marriage should change how frequently you go out unless you want it too. I’m just trying to guess what those people may have meant.
Post # 12
So what are you supposed to do with those of your friends who are single on the day of your wedding – dump them, or get them forcibly married off?
Post # 13
maybe that’s what the weddinh is about. It’s not about celebrating your love, but a farewell party to your friendship.
I actually know someone who threw a baby hower that was a massive party because that will be last time they will see their friends. THey were serious and it wasn’t a joke. I also have a (former) friend that right after the wedding started having exclusively couples get togethers and couldn’t do anything individually.
in general I don’t think it should change anything.
Post # 14
clairhuxtable : Hm, so weird. Especially these days when most people live with their partners before getting married anyway. “Can’t go out as much”? But why though? Makes no sense.
Post # 15
I’ve only been married for 8 months but we’ve been together since our teens so I’ve always been the one with a boyfriend. I’ve known my husband longer than I’ve known most of my friends lol. So no, no change for me.