(Closed) plz delete !

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

First off, I’m a little offended by all of the gender roles you’re assuming.  Not all girls act a certain way, want to be treated a certain way, or respond the same ways to the same actions. 

Secondly, it sounds like he’s a great guy and just hasn’t found the right one yet. Don’t change him, when he finds the right girl they will both be head over heels for each other.

I also would tell him not to waste his time on someone who doesn’t realize what a catch he is and isn’t as into him as his feels towards her. 

Post # 5
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Dell79:  Um, okay.  I don’t think I was rude, but hope you work everything out!

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Your friend sounds like he comes off a little desperate and no girl wants that.  While I would love to be chased, and have attention lavished on me, I want to feel that the man is strong, independent and desirable.  If he’s desperate I think what is wrong with him that he’s this desperate.  

I never chsed boys, I always let them chase me.  But there is a balance to this. 

Post # 8
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I agree that someone too available and too friendly can come across as creepy, but when I’m really into a guy, I’m excited to see him all the time? :/ I feel bad for the guy!

Post # 10
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Dell79:  I think it depends on if I was really into the guy?  If I like him, I want to go out with him everyday and stay up all night talking to him to learn about him those first few dates?  My Fiance and I were friends for many years before we finally dated, but it was still so much fun to be in that happy-new-relationship bubble when we finally made it official? Even though I knew all about him, I still wanted to spend tons of time talking to him. 

But, if I was only so-so about a guy, I could see how I could get turned off if the guy kept texting a lot or trying to see me when I was just looking for something casual?  Like if I was just on the third date with a guy and didn’t know him very well and wasn’t sure how I felt about him, and he told me he was totally in love with me? I’d probably freak out and shut it down.  

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Has he tried anything like OkCupid?  Those sites are normally pretty good because the people put down if they’re looking for a serious relationship– so he could know that the girl isn’t just trying to find something casual. 

Post # 14
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I missed the original post and am feeling very left out, lol.

Post # 15
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you have to give him the unpleasant truth that he needs to focus on himself and being happy with with his life.  Until he is, he is not going to attract a quality person who is going to want to be with him.

 

I have a girl friend like this.  She’s so desperate that she makes guys turn away very quickly.  After listening to her complain and complain and complain I very gently told her one day that she has to be the same quality person that she hopes to attract.  Well rounded, happy, interesting. I didn’t use the word “desperate” with her. But i was pretty direct with her.

poor guy!

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