(Closed) Single Moms BETTER than Stay-at-home Moms? *VENT*

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe she just wants some pity with a side of “please feel sorry for me” because she’s envious of your situation?

Post # 4
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sounds like you are doing the best you can with out being absent in your daughters life! And it sounds like she really doesn’t have it together! And I’m sorry she’s projecting on to you. 

Post # 6
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Misery loves company – don’t let her get you down and try not to be bothered by her comments. You’re doing what’s best for you and making a life for yourself and family. I’d spend some time apart from this woman, b/c instead of being happy for you that you’re making things work, she’s bringing you down. She needs to turn that energy around so she can have a better life, too.

Post # 8
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sounds like JEALOUSY to me.

Most girls that go from crappy guy to crappy guy know that they do it, even if they never figure out *why* they do it.

Sounds like she sees your situation, with a good guy, and going to school, having your life together/on track and is jealous.

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She sounds envious of your situation. From the outside I have a feeling that it appears to her that you are doing so much better than she is because you are able to stay at home with your daughter– she may not realize that it is more cost effective for you & your family, but its still what she is thinking. She thinks she is unable to “catch a break” and has to work so hard to provide, etc. 

This doesn’t mean that you are wrong, but this is no reason for you to say what you are about her, either. You’re being just as assuming as she is with what you are saying about how she choses to socializing— in fact it sounds like you think your decision making is better than hers with your overall tone.

The main thing to remember is that her words are (probably) not from some ill-will she may have… I think she (much like you) has assumed your situation to be more rewarding. Perhaps you should talk to her rationally about the situation, and maybe you two would both learn something valuable about not assuming that you understand all the others’ actions and motives… after all, you two are friends, right?

Just a thought. 

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Baby aside, there are LOTS of jealous/unhappy people out there who have all kinds of degrees, cars, are smart, and are skinny. Doesn’t make them happy.

Maybe she feels like finding a husband would be icing on the cake. Everybody wants somebody to love sometimes….i have known many single people who think that nothing matters if they don’t have someone to share their lives with.

Post # 13
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm, well if I had to choose between your situation and her situation… I’d choose yours (knowing very little about both of you).  🙂  Wouldn’t you?

Post # 14
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Woah woah woah. 

 

Its not a competition, girl. Just because she’s skinny and has a bachelor degree doesn’t mean her life isn’t trying at times. Just give her an ear and I’m sure she’ll reciprocate. You both are learning that this is TOUGH work and its okay to be jealous of other situations BUT you shouldn’t be enabled by them, let it empower you to improve! Plus you may be jealous over nothing… it probably is nothing like what you think it is. 

Post # 15
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Okay so you’re growing apart… that is fine, but honestly that doesn’t make you the clear winner here. Look at it any way you want to, but you’re cutting her down right here in this post just as you feel she is to you in your life. Is this to compensate? To justify how you feel about her? If the friendship is poisonous to your happiness I urge you to just cut your ties… you’re too much of an adult to be name calling. 

 

for example:

“I wish that she would focus on her child and not being jealous over something so stupid.”

Really… how unfair is that to say? you can’t even begin to pretend what she is thinking or how she feels about her child! Its very condescending. 

Post # 16
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can’t quite explain this mentality, but maybe you should limit contact with her. She clearly sees a man as her support system as opposed to doing it alone and appreciating what others do for her in support of her.

Imagine how the family that does support her would feel hearing those comments. Yeesh.

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