Post # 1
Hi ladies. I have that horrible sinking feeling today. I’m part of the Christmas Challenge, and I’ve been really good, but a brief exchange today left me sad.
This weekend is our 5 year anniversary, and then we are going away for my birthday (and it’s a big one) in three weeks. I’ve been hoping beyond hope for a proposal on my birthday trip.
This morning we were talking about money and savings, and I told him I thought we should both be saving more of our salaries for retirement. He said “Well, I have a big expense coming up in the future.” and smiled at me. I just smiled back but all I could think was “Oh, no. he hasn’t even been shopping yet. No birthday proposal for me.”
I am so sad and moody today now. I am going out to dinner tonight and of course I need to keep my mouth shut and a smile on my face.
Post # 3
I had this recently when I realised I won’t be engaged for Christmas based on some comments from him about needing to ‘save money for a big spend ;)’… I know that it’s hard but just try and focus on the fact that the man you love wants to spend the rest of his life with you and will be buying the ring soon! The proposal is one of the only things that is completely up to the guy so I would just look forward to having a lovely birthday with your soon to be fiance! (And I know how much harder that is to do than to say… trust me… but luckily we have the waiting boards to come rant on!!)
Post # 4
@Affin: Aw don’t fret just yet! You still may have a chance! Most jewelry stores offer a ‘buy now pay later’ plan. For example… He could put a down payment oon it of $200, bring the ring home, and then pay the rest of the cost off slowly (finance it, etc). I know that some stores around where I live have an sale on right now where you can take the ring home THAT DAY, and there’s no interest or payments until 2012. I’m sure there’s some fine print in there somewhere, like you need a down payment or something. But i’m sure it can’t be that much.
If your man does his research, he’ll find that it’s not as hard as it may seem!
Post # 5
Maybe he’s just saying that to throw you off the scent?
Post # 6
I’m in the same boat. My birthday is this weekend, and I found out last night that he hasn’t bought the ring yet. 🙁
I’ll tell you what. I promise to smile my biggest smile at my Boyfriend or Best Friend tonight if you promise to do the same at yours!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about it….my guy used the exact same words, “I’m saving for a big expense” and a month later we’re engaged. He kept saying stuff like that until the engagement, thinking back on it. Always throwing me off!
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for the replies. I know there isn’t much I can do about it, and I don’t think he is throwing me off the scent, but I’m still sad. I guess I will just try to enjoy the holidays at this point and keep my mind off of it all.
Post # 9
At least you know better than to look for a small box under the tree now, and can simply enjoy whatever is there? It sucks, but the allowing yourself to feel “let-down” now might actually help you get past the holidays better, without feeling super anxious or sadder as we go from turkey to indoor trees.
Post # 10
That feeling sure does suck! Think of it this way, you wouldn’t want him to propose on your anniversary because then you miss out on a present and you don’t want it on your bday because then you have to share the day with him! Same with Xmas, you miss out on presents! 😉 At least if he does it on a day that has no holiday your getting another special day to have with him rather than sharing an already special day with your engagement! hehe
Post # 11
@dreamingofbling: LoL! I totally agree… I honestly never wanted a holiday proposal or wedding for that reason. Maybe I’m just greedy, but I want my gifts! LOL.. more importantly, I just like celebrating holidays/anniversaries/birthdays. There’s more days to celebrate if events don’t share dates!
Post # 12
Can I just say I love you guys for helping me realize I was NORMAL when I was like this?? I thought I was BSCrazy. :/ I kept feeling I shouldn’t be the least bit upset….but I was. lol.
Now I’m good. So…..it works itself out, if that helps. Sometimes it just takes a while. My Fiance had the ring for MONTHS. And I KNEW. I felt like an ingrate for being all “why hasn’t he done it yet.” And none of my friends had gone through this yet, so whenever it would come up they’d feed me the “just be patient, you shouldn’t feel pressured, you should just this and this.” <– I know. It’s not helpful. So I won’t recommend it. I just recommend taking a step backand realizing him having the ring or talking about the ring is a VERY good sign. 🙂
Post # 13
Thanks, Ladies. Today is our 5 year dating anniversary. I know he won’t do it today and I know he really has no plans to do it, so I am just going to try to stay calm and not moody and just enjoy whatever the day brings.
Post # 14
We have the ring and he still says that. But he also fake proposes and pretends I don’t know where the ring is… ahh, the nature of a jokester.
Post # 15
I think he either has already bought it and said “coming up” because he didn’t want to imply that it’s already in his hands, OR, he very well might be waiting for a certain deal coming up with all the holiday sales. Jewelry stores on Black Friday do all kinds of sales, so if he hasn’t gotten it yet, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s out “running errands” this friday! 🙂
Post # 16
Fiance told me he was still saving for the ring, even after he had bought it. Don’t give up yet! 🙂