- 7 years ago
So, I was told I should seek advice from somewhere where nobody would know us for a better idea on how to handle the situation.
The wedding was a couple Saturdays ago at the end of July (the 30th).
My SIL is what I would describe as… a manipulative narcissistic control freak. This girl thought she was going to control our wedding and cared of nothing but herself. I included her by asking her to be a bridesmaid even though we aren’t close. She had me be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for her wedding. Honestly, I would NOT be surprised if she did that just so I’d have her be one in mine.
During the entire process for the wedding she just cared about herself… she kept harrassing me early on to include her in everything that I do and that this was her only chance to plan another wedding (she’s married) because this is her “only brother” and that her cousin probably isn’t ever going to get married.
She pulled a stunt with my bridal shower because she wanted her name on the invites. She was included, never asked for a DIME, and cried to my husband and their mother that she wasn’t on the invite. Hello?? She wasn’t hosting! And when it was HER shower, she got a few hundred out of me and my name wasn’t on her invite either! Just her MOH’s! (and I don’t even care!)
So then it caused a rift, caused so many fights between my husband and I because he has to listen to her complaining and he sees me as the problem when I am defending myself over her nonsense. But honestly, I really avoided talking about her in a whole from that point. And on that note, it’s interesting how I really never brought her up, went about my merry little way planning (and it was simple, not a big flashy wedding) and that was that.
Then its our wedding day… and she doesn’s come to my house, she is already at the church, I go in and I am super excited as it’s our wedding day. We are seconds from walking down the aisle and I waved to her excitedly as I just walked in– she stares at me with a STONE COLD face… no smile. Nothing. Walks down the aisle. No smile. Gives my husband a dirty look once she gets to the altar! Everyone sees. Then I walk down the aisle and her little friend is staring me down the same way she did.
Then we get to the reception and she doesn’t even ride in the limo with us. I’m guessing now because she wanted everyone to be like “where is she?” and then my husband is crying at his own wedding. I pipe up asking him WHO is making you upset on your wedding day?? Then all is well for the rest of the night.
She didn’t come up to me at all and neither did her little friend she simply had to invite. (from the beginning, since I had her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man I had her give me the guest list and she tacked on 5 of her own friends) Never came to the after party.
It makes me so upset that there was such negativity … and even more upset that my husband sees me speaking up about the situation to be the problem. He tells me he just wants to not hear about it anymore, but I am still upset.
I decided to not bring it up again. But that is why I’m posting– because my family is telling me just don’t say anything and leave it in the past now. but it hurts, I feel like she’s said nasty things about me, people seem different towards me, and I haven’t said anything about her to anyone except my family and honestly, it doesn’t matter because 90% of the time they’ve been present during all the bull!
So what can I do? I feel like I am powerless against her. I’ve been told to just avoid her at all costs. I already told my husband that she and I will NEVER be friends, that I cannot consider her my sister in law and that she will only ever be HIS sister.
I then told him, all he has to do is tell her “I love you but you’re wrong.” And he said ok. Whether he will do that or not, I don’t know. But last time we talked about her he defended her entirely simply because she’s his sister. Please tell me I’ve got a chance here??
I feel almost like I don’t care what she does so long as he just defends me… but I don’t think he will. So, I am alone. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, like I am being the “problem”. By the end of the night, everyone gave me a big hug and a kiss and said I have handled them as best I can and to just forget them. (them, as in, also the mother as she hasn’t been much better).
What do you guys think…?