- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I am trying to find a way to be concise, but I am struggling. My TL;DR is that a friend of mine told my sister very private information, knowing that my sister and I really don’t get along. My sister brought this info up in front of my parents, just to be a b-word.
So my little sister and I have never gotten along. She is a brat to everyone, especially my parents and myself. I did not want to have her in my bridal party because I knew she would be unsupportive. But, after my mom, aunt, and friends all convinced me to let it go, I asked her to be my maid of honor. She cannot be happy for other people, so she finds everything to complain about. When we went out for a family dinner to celebrate my engagement and my birthday, she complained about the restaurant the entire time. When we went bridesmaid dress shopping she told me that we’d never find a dress that looks good on her and my ‘fat friends.’ Basically she’s been a B word about everything she’s been included in.
Anyway, a year ago a few weeks before my FI was set to proposed he told me that 5 years ago (we had been dating 1 year at the time) he kissed a girl at a party at his college. I guess he felt guilty and wanted to tell me before we got engaged. I was heartbroken. I had (or thought I had) a zero tolerance policy for cheating so I was not sure if I would stay with him. We ended up working through everything together by going to counseling, talking etc. But, it was incredibly hard on me. My friends were incredibly supportive during the time even though it was embarassing and hard to talk about.
So one of the friends who I went to when this happened apparently told my sister all about my FI cheating on me and me being upset, not sure about wanting to stay with him etc. She has known my sister and I since high school and is well aware of our very rocky relationship. She is also aware that my sister often times throws things in my face when she is upset. The best example I have of this is the fact that I did shrooms once and smoked pot in high school. She lives with my parents and smokes pot all the time (I couldn’t care less about this). But, anytime my parents complain about it to her she reminds them that I did shrooms and smoked. Basically any time she is under fire for something she tries to deflect by making it about someone else.
I would never want my sister to know anything about my personal life and I have been very open about that. So for this friend to tell her about something like this is ridiculous. I wouldn’t want my friends to be gossiping about me behind my back about such a personal thing anyway. But, I could understand if she shared this with another friend of mine, not with someone that genuinly doesn’t like me . I have been drifting away from this girl over the last year anyway, but she asked me to be her bridesmaid, and I felt obligated to ask her to be a bridesmaid because of that.
Yesterday, I stopped at my parents house after a cake tasting to get their opinions on things. My sister got into a fight with my mother because she brought up the fact that she beat up a girl a couple of years ago. Obviously my mother doesn’t want to hear about her getting into fights. My sister was saying the girl deserved it because she was my sisters friend and slept with my sister’s boyfriend. I chimed in saying, “So you stayed with your bf, but beat up your best friend? That seems fair.” Pretty sarcastically. She then replied, “Shut the F up, _____ cheated on you anyway…….” I know it is silly, but I really didn’t want my parents to know about that. They know my FI very well and love him, and absolutely don’t care about what happend, but I just wish they didn’t find out.
Now that I know my sister knows about this, I feel like she will bring it up anytime I am around her as she often does. It was such a hard time for me and I really don’t want to hear the sentence, “FI cheated on you.” all the time. I know this may be an overreaction, but I really don’t want either of these girls in my bridal party.
What would you do in this situation? I may be overreacting, but I am just so hurt and angry right now.