(Closed) Sister and I had a fight, she has removed herself from wedding. (LONG)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

WOW.  That is a lot to deal with.  It sounds to me like the wedding stuff that has happened between you and her would have happened no matter what the situation is. 

I am so sorry that it looks like she won’t be part of your wedding, but am glad for you that you are being strong and doing what is healthy for you.  People that bully others around are usually hurting inside and for whatever reason she has lots of anger and pain. 

I hope that one day she can grow up and be a sister, but if that never happens, it is obvious you will be OK.  Best of luck to you.

Post # 4
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh man. I’ve been there. My sister hates me for all the same reasons you listed, and she was supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor as well. She went completely MIA and didn’t show up for the wedding, and I haven’t even heard from her. I’m with you, I don’t think I can ever have a normal relationship with her, especially after that.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Just wanted to say, I know what it’s like.

Post # 5
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Wow, that’s a bit of a tough spot you’re in. I’m sorry that you’ve had such a hard time with your sister. It sound like you’re handling it though. The one thing I would say is to leave the door open for your sister. When/If she ever get’s over her issues, I know that she will want to appologize to you. Maybe being left out of such a monumentous occasion in the family will be the wake-up call she needs.

Post # 8
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

oh, i’m really sorry about that. as you realize, seems like there is a lot of history there, and your wedding was a catalyst for everything coming to a head and just exploding. what a horrible feeling, i’m so sorry. sounds like your sister is extremely unhappy. i think you have to do what’s right for you, but yes you’re right, leave the door open. but take care of yourself as well.

Post # 9
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

wow! I guess im not the only one with a f***ed up sister! Seriously, i can never sleep at night if i treated my sister or anybody like that. I hope she wakes up and sees what she’s doing and makes it up to you soon, as with mine too! Arent sisters suppose to be happy for each other? Not jealous!!!!!

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh man, that stinks. I would say my situation is similar to yours in the fact that my sister has been the most unsupportive/most jealous out of my wedding party so far. It’s almost like just b/c she’s my sister, she’s entitled to be in the bridal party and doesn’t have to show any enthusiasm. It stinks, but we have managed to avoid fighting.. so far.

The most you can do and what I would recommend is apologizing for losing your temper. As you said, it was a stupid fight. Level with her – say you have been aware of tension between the two of you and you wonder if her being in your wedding has anything to do with it. Tell her that you meant it when you asked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, but don’t know if it’s the best idea right now given all the tension. See what she says, maybe you will just both agree and part ways as far as the wedding, or she could surprise you and apologize too.

Post # 14
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

UGH! That’s just awful, my sister can be a little snarky, but nothing like that.

I say just let things cool off for a while, and remember, you can’t change others, only yourself. So don’t stress out and worry about your sister. She is who she is, and you just need to keep living your life for yourself.

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