Post # 1
Good Morning Bees,
not sure where to start with my drama, but i asked my sister to be my maid of honor, her daughter to be my junior Bridesmaid or Best Man and her son to be our Pageboy – however, my nephew is now saying he wont cut his hair (he has a rats tail, and i personally cannot stand them, they look cheap and trashy) and will not walk my dog down the aisle as she is in the bridal party too.
After a heated discussion this morning with my sister, she pretty much told me that none of the 3 of them will be there, she thinks i am having a go at her parenting skills, because i asked if he will do as he is told on the day – her reply “who knows, hes a boy”, shouldnt she as a mother be able to tell him what to do, what to wear and how to act, i mean its for 1 day.
Do you think i’m in the wrong here or my sister? I very close with my niece and it absolutely gutted me when my sister she wouldnt be there if my nephew wasnt. I personally think she did that on purpose as she knows the bond between my niece and i is very high.
Any help would be appreciated as i honestly dont know what to say or do anymore, why does family have to be so difficult!!!!!
Post # 3
I think it’s a little unreasonable to ask someone to cut their hair for your wedding. Rat tails don’t appeal to me either but what can you do? Is it possible that his feelings were hurt after you asked him to cut his hair and so he refused to walk with your dog down the aisle?
Post # 4
… however, my nephew is now saying he wont cut his hair (he has a rats tail, and i personally cannot stand them, they look cheap and trashy) and will not walk my dog down the aisle as she is in the bridal party too.
someone elses hair is trashy but you have a dog in the bridal party – am i the only one that laughed?
i think you need to pick your battles and a kids rats tail isnt one to kill a family relationship over
Post # 5
I agree with texasgirl29 , I think it was quite rude to ask him to cut his hair and I am sure it embarrassed/offended him and his mother.
Post # 6
@texasgirl29 firstly thank you for your honesty. He is a very abnoxious kid anyway, he never does as he his told and always says horrible things out of spite. I think i used to be alot closer to him when he was a “nice and polite little boy”.
And what about my sister refusing to let my niece come if my nephew isnt there…..
I’m so over stressing about family dramas 🙁
Post # 7
Yea, I’d hate to say it, but I think it was rude of you to ask him to cut his hair. I personally despise rat tails…I didn’t even know that people still had them. But feelings aside, you asked for them to be in the wedding and then after accepting you put conditions on their participation.
Post # 8
Well if you don’t think he will behave at your wedding than cut your losses. She should be able to control her child.
Post # 9
usually i would agree with this, but at the time me and my sister were very close and we both had a laugh wen he came home with rats tail (from his fathers) and i said “u have to get rid of that before the wedding”.
dont you dare bring my dogs being at my wedding into this, that is high irrelevant to what i asked. I asked for help – how does this help my situation except make me feel like shit cos i have my dogs in the bridal party??????
Thank you to everyone else, i definately needed to see this from the other side so im glad i asked this forum.
Post # 10
If you don’t want him there, rattail and all, then don’t invite him. It’s ok. But know that means your niece and sister won’t be there either. You can’t have it both ways, you just have to decide what’s more important to you.
Post # 11
I do not think any bride has the right to ask anyone to cut their hair as a condition of being in the wedding party. We pick our attendants for who they are, not who we want them to be.
You have a right to have your dog in the wedding, but by the same token he has a right to refuse to accept any positon that involves walking your dog down the aisle. ( I know I would).
Your sister however, should attend your wedding as a guest if she chooses not to accept the retrictions you have placed on the appearance of her son as a member of the wedding party.
I think her answer who knows, he is a boy was her attempt at humor given your complete lack of understanding of the importance of his hair to him
Post # 12
I have to agree you can’t tell someone else especially if it isn’t your child to cut their hair for your wedding. You are completely over reacting here.
Post # 13
Honestly, if he is that terrible wy in the world would you ask hbim to be in the wedding or expect anything different from him? I am also in the camp that you shouldn’t ask him to cut his hair, a nice clean ponytail would work. Let your sister cool off and then apologize for getting so wrapped up in wedding planning.
Post # 14
yes, i agree i definately have to work out what is more important.
i think this is why perhaps she got so upset with me, i think she feels like i was questioning her parenting, which wasnt the case at all 🙁
Post # 15
i think i will wait till she has calmed down then apologise for asking him to cut his hair, i want him their because he is family and i do live him ( i suppose rats tail and all lol)
Thank you again ladies 🙂
Post # 16
dont you dare bring my dogs being at my wedding into this, that is high irrelevant to what i asked.
its a public forum, you are the one that gave your opinon on what you thought was cheap and trashy – i understand you love your pet but not everyone feels the same way. i think you need to let your nephew have his hair the way he wants (its a rats tail, not a mohawk), in the overall scheme its not that big a deal