(Closed) SISTER AND NEPHEW WEDDING DRAMA

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@futuremrslennon:  I think that is a good idea (what you said in your update). And even though he is difficult and you’re closer to your niece…try your best not to let it show in your actions. Kids can tell, and when he is older and not going through that stage anymore your relationship with him will still never be good if he grows up knowing you prefer his sister. Who knows, in their teen roles they could switch, you never know with kids. Just something to keep in mind.

Post # 19
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@futuremrslennon:  Not really how it works on a public forum, as long as no one is breaking the terms of service, they can post what they want. I see you are new to the boards, so one thing to keep in mind is that if you’re calling things (or people, as you were) cheap and trashy on your post, don’t expect to not get any judgement back because of that.

Post # 21
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

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@futuremrslennon:  Whether he’s obnoxious or not I think he deserves some kindness and understanding from his aunt. People lash out when they are hurt. 

If I was your sister I wouldn’t attend either if you asked that of my child or were being unreasonable. I think the issue with your nephew is the core of the issue, your sister and neice will come around once you patch things up with him.

Post # 22
Member
10450 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@futuremrslennon:  Does he realize it’s not 1991? haha. 

Post # 23
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is possible his feelings were hurt and if he is preteen or older it is a painfully self conscious age. He prob said that about your dog out of hurt. Your sister prob said they wouldn’t be there for the same reason. I have a teenage son and have found that the can be really self conscious about their looks. I would just tell them that you lost perspective for a moment but that you want them as they are. He may or may not still refuse to be in the wedding all you can do is try to repair the damage. I hope it works out for you. Good luck!

Post # 24
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not sure how having one’s dog in their wedding “trashy”, because it’s not.  Dogs are a million times better than people, IMO.

But, anyway, did your nephew have this rat tail when he was asked to be in the wedding?  I don’t think it’d be too big of a deal because if you take all pictures of him front-on you won’t be able to see the rat tail.  So, think of that and hopefully you guys can work things out and not have a big family fight over this 🙂

Post # 26
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I must be a bad person cause there is NO F**king way I would let anyone in my wedding with a rat tail. Sorry ladies thats a NO GO.

If one of the guys decided it would be funny to grow one you would see me onthe news chasing him with cordless clippers.

I would assume you had no way od knowing when youo asked them to be in the wedding he would have a rat tail for the wedding? and who convinced this kids a rat tail was a GOOD fashion statment?

Post # 27
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You have almost a year till the wedding …. he could get it cut off anyway before than… if everyone stopped makin it such a friggin big deal

and if he isn’t deemed responsible for his own behavior, you’re seriously going to let him handle the dog?

Post # 28
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

For what it is worth, I love my dogs and if I could, I would have them in my wedding. I don’t think its trashy

I also would not want someone with a rat tail in my wedding and would probably have a problem with it too. But I do agree that it is nothing to strain a relationship with your family over, if it is coming down to that. Maybe he can just tuck it in the back of his tuxedo? That might be a compromise?

It may be rude to ask according to most posters. But then maybe I am a rude person. I would most certainly ask a person to change something I would have a big problem with for my wedding (i would have to feel very strong about it). Depending on what it is, if they refused, I would probably just let it go. For instance, my stepsister is one of my bridesmaids and currently her hair is orange (for what reason, I don’t know). I am not going to say anything to her now, but if it is still like that getting closer to my wedding date I will most certainly be asking her politely if that can be changed.

Post # 30
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, I wouldn’t want anyone with a rattail in my bridal party either… sorry,… But its good you tried to talk to your sister, hopefully they can get over it and come even if just as regular guests

 

Post # 31
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m surprised that so many bees responding think that it is okay to ask someone to change their hair because they’re in your wedding party. My brother had a bright green footlong mohawk when we asked him to be a Groomsmen and I never would of asked him to change it. I think it’s sad that brides get so caught up in their wedding vision that they want to change their friends and family’s appearance. You’re asking them to be in their wedding because of their relationship with you, not for them to act as some model in your wedding vision….right?

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