(Closed) Sister as stinky MOH and parents who want to invite people…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 31
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think it sounds like you have the parent guest thing under control. I wouldn’t worry about it for another fraction of a second, you handled it perfectly. (also, don’t think of it as “his guest list” is your wedding together, there’s only one list, you’re family and friends with both sides now)

as for your sister.. meh. When I was a Maid/Matron of Honor i only went (hosted) to 1/3 showers for my bride, went to help pick the dress, and then her final fitting, but none of the ones in between. Fittings are usually at terrible times in out of the way locations, even if her kids are full grown i’m assuming she still has a million things to do every day. 

Just be happy she’ll be there for you on the day, and every day after when you have questions about being a wife, mother, etc. as that’s when it’s really going to count. I had a friend who’s sister refused to be her Maid/Matron of Honor because her husband wasn’t part of the ceremony, they haven’t spoken much since. there are worse things than being busy.

Post # 32
10294 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
lmo013:  Absolutely , what you  just said . OP started this thread calling her sister a”stinky MOH’ for not replying to text (s? ) having backed right off from the bra and  petticoat thing when  she saw how pretty much  everyone responded to  that .

Hopefully  she will also back off/be less anxious about  the other stuff now you and others have  pointed out that actually things are going pretty well.

Post # 33
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Prettysmile40:  don’t worry about deleting it. I get what you are saying completely. 

Post # 34
47427 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Perhaps your communication is contributing to the problem. If the title of this thread and your inability to communicate the real issue in your first post is any indication, maybe you and your sister just aren’t on the same wave length.

Post # 35
88 posts
Worker bee

I didn’t read evwry comment and I know it’s kinda late but FWIW I totally understand the “it’s not that she can’t attend, it’s that she ignores me” I’m the same way, if you can’t make something I totally understand, especially with a busy life but come on, I’m getting married and you can’t even return my text? Maybe one thing like “I don’t think I can make that but I really want to make sure I make _____ event so let me know when you want to plan that and I will find time” my Maid/Matron of Honor has two kids and a new job and I hope she can do a lot with me that I did for her but as long as I feel like she cares i just want her up there with me and not so that she can be extra free labor! 

Post # 36
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor and did ok but could be frustrating at times. Even my other Bridesmaid or Best Man said so. At first I asked her to research a few things and she never did. But, she was on Facebook posting all sorts of nonsense. So I realized that it wasn’t her responsibility anyway and just moved on. I am grateful that she threw me a nice shower though I did pay for my day of coordinator to help her with that. I do not think most brides do that but anyway she is just not an event organizer and did do her best. I wish she had shown some appreciation for everything I did but the bottom line is that she did and does care about me and my wedding even if she was annoying about it in some ways. I can’t say that about certain others. I am sure your sister cares but not sure why she keeps blowing off the fitting appointments. Just do it without her if you think that would be ok with her. And when you look back the important thing will be that she did care in the end, even if she couldn’t or didn’t do some things.

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