Sister asked to stay with us for a short time but still here 7 months later

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
5185 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

silverwoods :  Have you told her no? Have you told her it is unreasonable to be freeloading off your fiance when the agreement was for your parents to pay for her accommodation? 

Post # 33
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

silverwoods :  

It’s my opinion that you should make clear to her that you think it’s shameful and rude that she mislead you & SO about how long she was staying and she needs to grow up and find her own place.  Give your sister a deadline that feels reasonable to you and SO.  Then stick by that.  

You can always help if she needs it but overstaying again should mean SHE pays YOU rent….not your parents….her.  You should no longer accept her freeloading if it bothers you so much.  

Post # 34
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure of the cultural nuances here, but I would first chat with your parents and clarify that they are willing to provide financial support, then I would speak to your sister and kindly tell her to start looking. Give her a concrete date to stick by. Make it “awkward” for her, like keep asking her how the house hiring is going. She’s gotten too comfortable and it’s only going to get worse xo

Post # 35
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A few more months? Um, no. The fact is that your sister is very comfortable, and the problem is she is making you uncomfortable. I’m sorry, my rule of thumb is when it comes to doing someone a favor, if I’m feeling uncomfortable, something has to change. You can’t allow someone who is living in your home make you uneasy. 

Also, your parents need to pay something. Ok, your fiancé won’t take it. You take it, and use it to help pay for your wedding, your honeymoon, or anything that will benefit you and your fiancé. He won’t say no once you have the funds. My husband would never take the money either, but I would find a way. It is MY responsibility to make sure no one in my family ever takes advantage of him. The same way your sister is doing now. Also, this might help ease some of your embarrassment. You have mentioned it several times, so I know it must be truly be a sore spot. Get some backbone, and take care of your business! 

Post # 36
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m surprised your Fiance isn’t upset with you over this, OP. If this was my husband and his sister mooching in my place I would be furious, and would have kicked her out a long time ago.

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