(Closed) Sister Conundrum

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sdbeachgirl:  That’s a tough one!

It sounds like you are trying to be considerate of her situation/expenses while looking out for yourself.  It’s great that she wants to be involved, but there are other things you could get her to do besides being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Could she be an usher? or a reader? could you ask her to give a toast at the reception? or a combination of those?  It would be less expensive for her than being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and it wouldn’t require a lot of commitment pre-wedding and it would limit the opportunity for drama.

I asked my (then) out-of-town, almost broke, self-absorbed sister to be a bridesmaid and I am seriously regretting it!  Since she has been a bridesmaid and Maid/Matron of Honor several times before, I thought she would be reasonably helpful with the process.  I even asked her if she was comfortable with the few exenses (nothing extravagent) given her financial situation.  She’s my sister and I love her, but she has been worse than useless as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, not even answering emails/texts when I’m trying to make arrangements/appointments and then “forgetting” about them once they are made.  I thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt, but I’m really wishing I’d gone with my gut on that one.

Post # 4
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sdbeachgirl:  oh. That’s a tough one. Im in a similar position with my two older brothers. We didn’t want to ask them to be in the wedding party because then we’d feel obligated to ask my FIs brothers and it would just get too complicated.  I asked my brothers to be involved in other ways. Granted this is limited by what your sister has to “offer”. My one brother will walk my mom down the isle. My other brother will be playing guitar for the ceremony. the one walking my mom down the isle is also baking dessert for our rehearsal dinner which he loves to do. What about having your sister walk down the isle WITH her daughter and son? They can be a flower couple! Or ask your sister to make a toast for you if you are not afraid she would embarrass that way way or bring drama. I’m also not very traditionHanson those are things I would do. 

Post # 5
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Can she be a reader or hand out programs? What about standing by the guest book?

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