Sister didn't invite me to wedding, should I ask why?

posted 2 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 16
10848 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It’s possible that what PPs suggest is true, that you remind her of a traumatic time. Another possibility is that she’s not traumatized as much as snobby about her roots and doesn’t want the association. It can also come down to something as superficial as appearance, or be about disapproval of lifestyle, personality or choices. If any of that is the case she won’t admit to it, of course. 

But there’s also the chance that it’s nothing to do with any of the above. If it was something you unknowingly said or did, I’d want to know. It’s not at all rude to ask if you have done something to offend her. At least you can say you tried, and she will know you are confused and hurt by her behavior, not oblivious to it. 

Post # 17
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

I have a brother who literally cut me out of his life over something that he was TOLD was said but didn’t actually happen. An entire situation instigated by my mother, who recalls nothing. We have not spoken in a decade. We both have several children, my husband has had cancer, there have been weddings, births, deaths. I live far away from all of my family but if I go back to visit, his wife will bring his kids to my parents once. That’s the extent of the relationship.

All I’m saying is, I understand how it feels. I would ask because you will always wonder, but don’t ask in a “what did I do” way, because you don’t deserve how you have been treated. Ask her why you were purposely excluded from everything important in her life, and then don’t invite her to your own wedding. Move the hell on. It is up to her to make amends at this point. I mean, what she has done is pretty cutthroat.

Sorry about the shitty childhood, but that’s still not an excuse for how she has treated you when YOU have done nothing wrong.

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