Sister doesn't think I should have a big wedding …

posted 4 years ago in 40 Something
  • poll: Would you have a large wedding as an encore bride?
    Yes, why not? : (124 votes)
    91 %
    No, a large wedding would be tacky. : (12 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 2
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Who cares what your sister thinks – it’s not her wedding. You’d think she’d be supportive that you’ve found love again and want to celebrate it with friends.

    Wear the wedding dress you want and invite who you want. 

    Post # 3
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    wifetobee63:  not even gonna read your post.

    1. Is she paying?

    2. Is a big wedding what YOU want?

    If the answers are no, and yes, respectively, then I say, sis gets no say. 


    ETA: now I’ll go read, but I think I’ll feel the same way.

    Post # 4
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

    I think it’s kind of silly. You’re not having a shower which I think is more suited for younger couples or those just starting out, so why is it innapropriate? As you said, your fiance has never been married before, so why should his age stop him from having one now if he wants one? I don’t see this as tacky at all, you’re allowed to celebrate your love in the way that makes you both happy.

    Post # 5
    901 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

    It’s his wedding too. Have want YOU want. No one will judge. A wedding is a celebration. If you want to celebrate and have all your friends and family.. DO IT! 

    Post # 6
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    wifetobee63:  Invite your sister to plan her own wedding so that what she has to say will actually matter to someone. 

    Post # 7
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 10, 2016

    When my grandmother got remarried (not sure what age she was, but old enough to have grandkids at least!) she had a large wedding with all her friends and family. It wasn’t tacky at all, it was beautiful. 

    Post # 8
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It’s not your sister’s wedding, it’s yours so who cares what she thinks. As long as your fiancé is onboard, have the wedding you two want.  Same goes for your dress. 

    Post # 9
    2645 posts
    Sugar bee

    wifetobee63:  What?

    that seems silly to me. I have only heard of previously divorced brides toning down their second wedding in order to avoid being tacky, but honestly that still seems weird to me. If it’s your 3rd or 4th wedding then yes, you don’t need the big hub-bub.

    This is clearly not the case here, you did not divorce. You should not be punished for finding two great loves in your life. Plus this is something special your Fiance should get to experience, too. He shouldn’t have to give this up because he found you later in life.

    have a big wedding if you want to!

    Post # 10
    939 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 1975

    wifetobee63:  Its your day, you have the wedding you would like. You deserve it. Tell her to shove it. 

    Post # 11
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    wifetobee63:  I think that you should have the wedding that you and your Fiance want, it’s not about your sister.  If my sister was trying to tell me what to do for my wedding, I’d tell her “This is what Fiance and I want, and that’s how it’s going to be.”  If she’s not going to be supportive of you with it then I think you should just stop talking to her about it.  I’m sorry she’s not being supportive of you.  

    Post # 12
    2120 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    wifetobee63:  i think you should have a big wedding and the dress you want. If i went i wouldnt see it as tacky at all. esp since you are widowed and your future husband has never married before. i think your sister might be a bit green. 

    Post # 14
    46672 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    wifetobee63:  Make a deal with your sister. You plan your life. She plans hers.

    Post # 15
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    wifetobee63:  I think your plans are beautiful. And you’re right, you’ve earned this-being happy, I mean. As a pp said, its wonderful that you were able to come across two great loves in your life.

    Besides, 13 years is a long time to wait. Its not like DLH just passed away this year. 

    By The Way, I knew it. Read the post, I stand by my first response.


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