(Closed) Sister drama about the shower – bag it or not?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 4
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

It seems odd to me that your family wouldn’t be more accomidating with your requests.  I don’t have any anxiety issues and I found it a bit uncomfortable being the center of attention at my shower.  Would she consider a couples shower?  Then you would have Fiance there with you.  I found the gift opening to be the uncomfy part, so maybe you could open them after the shower, or maybe you could ask guests to bring unwrapped gifts and have them displayed during the shower.  I hope some of these ideas will help.  

Post # 6
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I hated opening gifts at mine too. I don’t even get who ‘those’ people are that want to watch you open gifts – unless they’re just nosey old women. I think it’s boring to be both the opener and the watcher.

I think doing a luncheon with a few games and conversation sounds lovely and think it’s sad that your sister isn’t being more accomodating to your wishes.

What does your mother think? Would she be able to be ‘on your side’ and get your sister to be more cooperative?

Post # 7
14497 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think to keep the peace let them throw the shower.  And perhaps use it to your advantage, you want to limit it to 20, maybe let them invite 25 or so and try to work on the anxieity.  I dont really like being center of attention the way a bridal shower puts you, and I’m normally not and pretty shy, but I tired to look at it like, this is a normal event…. People have huge ones all the time and have all this attention for the day and while opening presents, if they can survive it, so can I!  Overcome the fear, push your comfort zone just a little.  But dont let her plan anythign that would send you through the roof.

Post # 9
142 posts
Blushing bee

I say cancel. She’s given you the out. Why not take it if you truly don’t want the shower?

Post # 10
193 posts
Blushing bee

@greenmachine838: Im there with ya! I get panic attacks too. They are not pretty. If you can handle 20 ppl then I think you should still do it. I would invite her and your mum over to dinner and explain that you dont mean to be a bother but as they are aware you suffer anxiety. Put it back on them a bit ” You know I would love not to have to worry about this. How I would love you to throw a big party, but unfortunately these damn panic attacks really make it impossible” Tell your sister you are excited that she is planning it for you and how much you appreciate her taking all this in to account when shes planning.

Fingers crossed the reverse psychology may work !

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