(Closed) Sister dumps small children on me. advice?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That is not acceptable! I’d definitely have a talk with her about it, or as other bees have said  I’d make plans with a friend and leave before your sister gets a chance to disappear!

Post # 18
Member
2957 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with PPs – tell your sister before her arrival that she should not assume you are available to watch her children. As soon as possible after they arrive, LEAVE.

Post # 20
Member
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@Koifish:  Good for you. You probably will have to do this several times for it to stick. 

Post # 21
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee

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@Koifish:  Good for you! I doubt she got the message. You’ll probably have to keep doing this to drive the point home. 

Post # 22
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

Good job!

Post # 23
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Koifish:  good for you! I would have just ditched the kids with grandma & grandpa but I am an asshole like that 🙂

Post # 24
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Way to go! Totally what I was going to suggest before I got to your update. My brother and SIL used to do this to me until I did sorta what you did.  i found myself alone in the house with the kids. Everyone was gone. I called my mom cuz I new she’d answer and said call brother ams SIL and let them know I a. Leaving in 1 hour whether or not the kids are home alone. I packed my stuff and in 1 hour left(my parents were back by then). I went to a friends house, spent the entire time my brother and SIL were there at my friends only returning when they had gone back home. Never again did this happen. 

Post # 25
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@Koifish:  Good for you! So glad you stood your ground. 

My sister used to totally abuse my love for my nephew and have me babysit him at a moment’s notice for DAYS! I finally had to have a very clear, very uncomfortable conversation with her where I laid out exactly what I was willing to do and not do. It was hard but here’s the thing…. my sister (and yours) was getting away with it because she knew I didn’t want to have that conversation. She was totally taking advatage of me being uncomfortable! 

In your case, I would seriously just walk out the door to go on a walk or run to the store whenever sister disappeared and left the kids and just flat out say “No one told me you’d left or that I was in charge”. Your parents would then be stuck with the kids and maybe THAT would get them on board! 

Post # 26
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

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@Koifish:  Well done! You’ll have to make sure you’re consistent with this and do this every time they come, but great start!

Post # 27
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@julies1949:  Agreed. She’s not going to change if you don’t force her to, OP. I would not watch the children if I didn’t want to – leave the house or stand up to the parents. 

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