(Closed) Sister engaged….and whens the big day…

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 6
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@beeillinger: wow! I’m sorry but that’s such a bitch move. Does she not realize that events are going to run together? What about the people who have to travel for the wedding? I know we only get one day, but two weddings so close together in the same family cannot be fun. I wouldn’t even care if she was getting married before me. I would be pissed that two weeks before your wedding, you will be attending her pre-wedding events when you should be focused on nailing down details so you aren’t stressed. 

Post # 7
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think it matters if she gets married before you (even though it can be disappointing), but TWO WEEKS!!! that is really rude! she should give you some space between your weddings. there’ll likely be an overlap of guests, with events close together and that’s not very consderate to you or your family members who will now be attending 2 weddings in a very short time!

Post # 8
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

How annoying! I would be pissed. You only get one day for your actual wedding but the weeks leading up to the big day should still be yours too. I can’t imagine any bride would be pleased with this arrangement. 

Is there a reason why she chose that date? 

Post # 9
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

maybe she feels like she has to be first? 

Post # 11
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My fiance and i have been together for 5 years and got engaged in december 2010. His brother has been with his fiance for 3 years and got engaged in august 2010. We ARE getting married in 2011 and they in 2012. People getting engaged after or before getting married after or before not a big deal…you only get one day…if you want to get married before people change your date. Its abut marrying the person you love…so what….people shouldn’t have to wait for other people or whatever. That being said 2 WEEKS!!!! Is she crazy!!!!! WTF!!!! You have EVERY right to be upset!

I guess one perk is you know family wont have to choose between whos wedding like say if she picked a date in the same year but months apart….uggg i dont know. 2 weeks seems just plain mean 🙁

Post # 13
690 posts
Busy bee

This is TOTALLY just my own made up opinion, but I’d be PISSED if my sister was getting married within one month of me.  I’d probably even be a little irritated if she was getting married within three months of me.  That is absent a good reason of course.  I’m pregnant, he’s getting deployed, a close family member is dying, etc would all majorly soften the blow. 

Apparently I don’t have to worry about this though, as my sister’s BF told her that it would be ‘rude’ for them to get engaged within the same year of me getting married lol.  I was like “umm… not even I would have a problem with that!!”

Post # 14
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that is really cruel of your sister to pick a wedding date 2 weeks before yours considering she is in your wedding and that it will be a bit much for your family to be really involved in both weddings without feeling drained. She should totally have atleast a month or two between the two weddings. If she really wants to get married before you she should consider a month or two before you. IF I were you I would tell her to change her date or drop out of the wedding

Post # 15
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

6 months? I would die if i got engaged and had to wait 6 months after my sister’s wedding to get married. Don’t get me wrong, if I were in your position I would be angry as well. The least she could do was push it back two weeks after.

As for Maid/Matron of Honor, both of mine are out of town. I don’t think they’ll do anything to help. And my mom is helping too much. I long for days when I can just plan by myself… cause I would be done already! Ugh.

Post # 16
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021

That sucks! My cousin got engaged after us and are getting married before. But at least it’s not two weeks. That’s just cruel.

Post # 17
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

There are 9 couples (both family and friends) that got engaged after us, only 2 of those couples are getting married after us.  It blows!!! One of the couples that is getting married before us is my older cousin who just got engaged a couple months ago, is getting married in August and has only known her fiance for a year.  She has always been a bitch to me and when I found out she was planning on getting married a few months before me after my FH and I had already been together for 4 years and engaged a year, I flipped a lid.  She only cares about herself and not any of her other 3 cousins that got engaged before her and have been planning longer.  My FH says he may be violently ill the day of her wedding.  Oh yeah, and she lives in Maryland with her Fiance and they are moving up here and getting married up here even though her Fiance doesn’t want to move and she is supposedly going back to what she originally went to school for after changing her career 3 times.  Sorry…. just had to vent!

Post # 18
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow two weeks! Thats just mean….especially with her being your maid of honor! 

One of my friends was engaged for two years and had set a date that far in advance, and her fiances brother and his wife decided to get married two weeks before also. She was so angry with them but they went through with it. 

Sorry you are going through this….hopefully she responds soon and you can change her mind…at least until after your wedding. 


Keep us updated!

Post # 19
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, that’s a bitch move. She shouldn’t do that to you- or to your family, friends, and out of town guests. Having your weddings that close together might cause people to have to choose between your weddings, especially for out of town guests who might not be able to afford to attend both. Is there any way you and your parents can sit down with your sister and get her to see how selfish she’s being?

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