(Closed) Sister engaged….and whens the big day…

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

There are 9 couples (both family and friends) that got engaged after us, only 2 of those couples are getting married after us.  It blows!!! One of the couples that is getting married before us is my older cousin who just got engaged a couple months ago, is getting married in August and has only known her fiance for a year.  She has always been a bitch to me and when I found out she was planning on getting married a few months before me after my FH and I had already been together for 4 years and engaged a year, I flipped a lid.  She only cares about herself and not any of her other 3 cousins that got engaged before her and have been planning longer.  My FH says he may be violently ill the day of her wedding.  Oh yeah, and she lives in Maryland with her Fiance and they are moving up here and getting married up here even though her Fiance doesn’t want to move and she is supposedly going back to what she originally went to school for after changing her career 3 times.  Sorry…. just had to vent!

Post # 18
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow two weeks! Thats just mean….especially with her being your maid of honor! 

One of my friends was engaged for two years and had set a date that far in advance, and her fiances brother and his wife decided to get married two weeks before also. She was so angry with them but they went through with it. 

Sorry you are going through this….hopefully she responds soon and you can change her mind…at least until after your wedding. 


Keep us updated!

Post # 19
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, that’s a bitch move. She shouldn’t do that to you- or to your family, friends, and out of town guests. Having your weddings that close together might cause people to have to choose between your weddings, especially for out of town guests who might not be able to afford to attend both. Is there any way you and your parents can sit down with your sister and get her to see how selfish she’s being?

Post # 20
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow. that is really inconsiderate of the guests who may overlap. I know it can be done, but how does she expect to book a venue in such a short period of time in the peak season? Let alone order a dress & have fittingsalterations in less than four months? (sure she could go off the rack, but alterations can take some time too).

I think you should tell her that you are concerned about her being able to handle being moh as well as planning her own wedding, and perhaps ask her to rethink her position as moh.

There is not much you can do about her picking the date, which sucks, but that is unfortunately the way it is. Did she specify 2011? or did she just say “May ___”?

I know you only get one day, but if there are a lot of oot guests this is incredibly thoughtless and selfish on her part.

Post # 21
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

how do your parents feel? It will be stressful on them too right? maybe they will have some sway?



Post # 22
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Usually I don’t agree when people get upset about people getting married before them but I would be pissed about this. Clearly you will have lots of the same guests so its annoying for them and like you said now there will be two showers, two stags, etc. Thats so terrible. I feel for you. Did she book anything yet? Is it too late to tell her how you feel?

Post # 23
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

2 weeks is rediculous! I am surprised your parents aren’t saying anything.

Post # 24
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I would be annoyed, I’d like it to be a month or 2 before or after my day. Just so i wouldn’t stress out.

Maybe they won’t be able to pull it together, if your date is right thats just under 5 months – I know i couldn’t do it in that time frame!

Post # 25
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I know everyone’s said this already, but jeez. That, to me, is HIGHLY inconsiderate and pushy. I know the argument “you only get one day” but this is your SISTER. The Maid/Matron of Honor. I know what you’re saying when you say “Am I the only one that takes this into consideration?” And the answer is no, not on here, but maybe in your family? I’m betting this isn’t an unusual type of decision for her to make. It sucks. :/ Reading these I’m always really glad I have 2 brothers in between me and my sister. Ugh.

Post # 26
1 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

i saw your post and knew straight away how you feel….

my fiance told his family he was proposing two months before he did and i knew none of it so when i heard his brother and partner then became engaged (who have only been together for just over a year) it only seemed a little weird as they are a on and off thing..

as soon as he prosped and we started planning they decided to just GET married..after telling family it had to be before us (as they are only a alittle older)

ended up being a quick un organised backyard gathering and was meaningless and confussing to many people..

so try not to worry..i know thats easyly said but like you mentioned you have been planning for over a year its only going to show how dedicated you are to your relationship and wedding!

time will tell…:)  focus on your wonderful relationship that she prob wishes she has!

all the best! and hope it all goes your way 🙂



Post # 27
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That sucks. Won’t your mom talk to her about it? I know mine would.

Post # 28
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

2 weeks… geeze

Post # 29
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Two weeks before she’s try to steal your thunder. I get the whole you only have one day thing but the amount of stress she’s putting you and your family under is crazy the last two weeks are crunch time making sure everything is ready and to have to go through that twice?  nuts

Post # 30
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you heard back from her at all, OP? Is it possible that she hasn’t text you back because they’re maybe discussing looking at different dates? (being hopeful) I think that 2 weeks ahead of yours is a bit ridiculous, and if she does come back to you tomorrow and doesn’t mention changing the date, I’d have a family sit-down to talk it out.

Your wedding is in July, I’m sure a lot of stuff is set and deposits are down. If she hasn’t done any of that yet (and I’d call her ASAP tomorrow to make sure she can’t throw down some cash as an excuse to lock-in somewhere and seal the deal on the date), then make a dinner date with your folks tomorrow and hash it out. 

Post # 31
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper

THAT SUCKS! I was prepared to tell you to get over it, then I read the whole post. Wow. Really sucks.

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