(Closed) Sister Feud- Need advice ASAP :'(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should definitely let your parents know ahead of time that she’s not coming. That way they can get over the shock or anger they might have rather than being surprised on your wedding day.

Just very calmly tell them that you would have liked for her to be there and told her as much but she has declined the invitation. Tell them that you don’t want them to make a big deal out of it and that you’ve already come to terms over it and tried you best to convince her to come.

Basically your sis needs to grow up and get over herself. If she doesn’t support the two of you then it’s totally within her rights not to come. She may upset your parents but let it be between them and her if they have an issue with it. Don’t add extra stress to yourself by trying to deal with your parents for her.

Post # 4
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Can you get one of your sisters involved to talk to your sister?  And I agree, that you (or another sister) should talk to your parents before the wedding day.



Post # 5
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If I were in your shoes, I will shamefully admit that I would go passive aggressive and say, “Mom, we’re having trouble getting ahold of Denise to find out if she’s coming to the wedding. [Sister] thinks she probably isn’t going to show up, but we really need to know so we can tell the caterers. She isn’t answering my phone calls, so I was wondering if you could call her and find out.”

And then let your mom go crazy on her.

Hah… but that is, admittedly, not the most mature way to handle the situation.

Post # 6
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree with daydreamwanderer. You don’t need to deal with this drama. Let your parents talk to her about whatever is going on with her.

Post # 7
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t tell your parents anything.  If she’s chosing to go this route, let her explain herself to your parents.  I’m sorry she’s doing this to you.  I hope she changes her tune, she’ll one day regret her decision.

Post # 8
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow! How immature of her. She’s just trying to steal your thunder, and it sounds like you are letting her! Just let her be unhappy. Maybe down the road she’ll learn how important family is.

Post # 11
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

if she is not gonna be there how is she stealing the spotlight? i say u just ignore her and dont mention to your parents. if she shows up fine but if she doesnt forget about it.. people like her feed off of attention. if you ignore her she will sober up and calm down and act more reasonable

Post # 12
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

She’s obvioulsy extremely immature, and this should not come as a shock to anyone.

I’m not sure about telling your parents. I think she should have to be the one to do that ,since she is the one causing the drama.

I do have to pick out one thing that you said that I think you were in the wrong about. To a 19 year old girl, a social could be a very big deal. To get her hair and makeup done shows me that to her, it was a very big deal! I think maybe saying things like “her friends were obviously more important than me”…well, if you said that to her, I can see why she might not be too happy with you. Esp. if those plans were made before yours. Perhaps you should have changed the day of your dress try-on, if you knew she had that to do that was important to her. One thing we all have to remember is our weddings are not as important to others as they are to us.

However, that does not make her behavior ok. And I think she is the one to explain to your parents. Also, if you tell your Mom now, she has the potential to make it a bigger, more explosive family issue, and you don’t need that right now!


Post # 14
4 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with all the advice listed above, but I just wanted to say… {{{hugs}}}  You don’t need all that drama the day of your wedding.  My sister is the same age as yours… and I was really worried that I was going to get similar backlash from her, but she’s been amazing.  So here are more {{hugs}} for you, and also mojo that you get some sisterly support.  You deserve it.

Post # 15
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should be happy she’s not coming.  She may ruin all the photos by wearing a crusty expression all night.  Pffft.  Let her be.  She’ll regret it later when you have all these fab photos of you and your family at your wedding.  You should post them all to facebook with captions like “Me and all the important people in my family” or “Me and the family minus my b****y pouty sister who couldn’t bother to come and support us on our day.”  Maybe scratch the captions.  I’m catty when I’m annoyed.  LOL

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