(Closed) sister getting married too — frustrated vent

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow, that sounds REALLY REALLY annoying! I would just stop giving her you info and ask her to please have a little consideration for your wedding, which has been in the works for some time longer than hers. How close are your dates? If her date was your backup they must be too close for comfort! Tell me she at least found her own venue.

Post # 4
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

wow. i understand…but she’s your sister. stop the competition and just be happy for her. are you sure you are not secretly jealous of her or something?

Post # 5
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

What’s to vent about? No one is asking her about her wedding because they are less excited about her wedding. She’s probably posting on another board about how jealous she is that her whole family is falling over themselves to talk about her sister’s wedding and no one cares about hers.

As for stealing your vendors… probably no one will notice. And your wedding is first, so at least no one will think you copied her, right? Just start telling her “it’s a surprise” for everything and she’ll do her own work. And then don’t worry about it anymore.

Post # 6
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Totally get your frustration but pp is right, it sounds like they’re less excited since they don’t actually know her Fiance.  Plus it’s annoyin gshe’s not doing her own work, but just b/c she uses your vendors doesn’t mean that everything will be the same.  Hang in there, it’ll be fine!

Post # 7
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That would annoy me to pieces too!  Just be glad your wedding is before hers! 😉  I’d be as helpful and as short with my replies to her post.  It’s understandable that she’s trying to gleen from your wedding wisdom and if it were anyone other than your sister, you’d probably be more happy to help.  Some people (especially sisters) just hit ALL the wrong buttons.  Try your best to be kind to her and not make your wedding planning damage your family relationship.  That said, you don’t need to cater to her beck and call and if you can’t help her, don’t have time, etc – then just tell her.

Post # 8
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

So, kind of unrelated, but kind of not.  I have two sisters who are moving to the city I live in and have been constantly asking me a bazillion questions…to the point it’s driving me nuts.  I don’t mind helping out, but sheesh, can they not do atleast some of the things on their own?  So, finally after a million texts, I finally responded with, “GOOGLE…live it, learn it, love it.”  They got the point.  Maybe send your sister a subtle hint like I did…one that screams “Figure it out yourself” without being too blunt. lol


Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hey there, I feel your pain.  My brother just got married and I went through this with his now wife.  I had planned a wedding years ago and had done the research on vendors etc.  Then when the Fiance and I started talking about rings I began my wedding quest.  So my SIL kept asking me for my vendors phone numbers etc.  To go with her to interview them etc.  Then she would lose the number ask me again etc.  Then it went so far as to ask me to contact them to let them know this or that.  It was very frustrating because I felt like I had planned their whole wedding!  Which besides the desing of the cake and her wedding dress everything else was my idea.  Agghhh!

Now I”m doing my wedding and I don’t have their help.  Instead my SIL asks me to contact the carpenter to repair a leak in their home.  I’m like call him yourself!

Hang in there!

Post # 11
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

There are a million vendors out there, it shouldnt be that hard to find some of your own, planning one wedding is stressful enough

Post # 12
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Um are you my sister? Our stories are so similar it’s scary. Although she is older and was engaged first, but took forever to plan her wedding so she ended up trying to use all of MY vendors, but they were already booked for her date which is 6 months before mine. And I barely got a chance to introduce Fiance to the extended family since I never see them.

My sister was so pissed when I got engaged while she was engaged, everything you are saying are things she said to me! She even threatened (and almost didn’t) come to my engagement party she was so mad. It took her a while and a lot of screaming fights to get over her anger, but now she is a lot more (but not totally) supportive of me.

It’s not my fault she dated her husband for so long before finally getting engaged – I really didn’t want to wait until my 30’s to get married just because the timing wasn’t good for her. Sorry for my mini vent, but just thougth I’d give you my perspective. Oh, and I intentionally picked my date so it would work for her and our other sister who are both my MOH”s.

Post # 13
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i understand that you’re frusterated, but why don’t you try to make the situation a positive one? not many people want to talk weddings all the time, and since your sister is planning hers, she probably does, and it can be fun to plan your weddings together.

Post # 14
865 posts
Busy bee

is she your younger sister or older sister, just wondering?

id be annoyed too.  sisters can be the trickiest at times.  im not even engaged but my sister and i were watching “say yes to the dress” and i said id only want my parents to come with me to pick out a dress. she through a fit about it because she thinks she has to come.  little does she know i wouldnt even make her a bridesmaid!

Post # 15
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Even if you have the same vendors, they can vary the details and make sure your weddings are different.  No matter what, yours is first!!

Post # 16
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow, you have a whole lot on your plate, actually your whole family does.  You have to focus on what you need to do first, as in your own wedding planning.  If you respond to every question, e-mail, message, etc., you will never get a chance to accomplish what you need to.  Just like when she said she was too overwhelmed to discuss things, it can also be overwhelming to fill her in on every detail of each one of your vendors.  I’m not sure what kind of relationship you guys have but I would be honest with her and let her know that you need to focus on your things. 

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