Sister-in-Law getting married the week before?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
5250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Just don’t compare them. There is no point being bitter about when their wedding is or how much is being spent. At the end of the day their wedding is for them and your is for you and your fiance, there is enough happiness to go around. 

Post # 3
686 posts
Busy bee

That is really annoying – but yeah, as PP said – just don’t compare them, especially if they are going to be very different. 

That – or everytime you hear someone doing it just yell STFU! innocent

Post # 4
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

Wow… that is so beyond rude to me.

“Before yours!” That just seems like they are doing it on purpose, are the siblings competitive or something? Or am I being sensitive? One week before yours… My parents would have stepped in and told us that it wasn’t appropriate, to spread them out a bit better and be happy for each other.

Just remember that your wedding is about y’all and to have fun and be happy! There are always going to be people out there spending more $$$ than you, always. Money doesn’t guarantee happiness though, so just enjoy your day!

good luck!

Post # 5
2971 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Wow… that’s honestly such a dick move on their part…

I think it is inconsiderate both of the other couple and of your shared guests to have two weddings in the same immediate family that close together. That just makes for such a drawn out busy period with no time to breathe in between. And it totally sounds like they intentionally chose their date to be as close to but before your date as possible. It kind of sounds like they *want* the comparisons.

I’d be pissed, but I’m not sure there is really anything you can do at this point other than grin and bear it… and try not to think about it during your own wedding.

Did you say anything to them about it when they picked that date??

Post # 6
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am generally much in the camp of, “you get one day”, but….seriously? One WEEK? For two members of the same immediate family? I guess if all overlapping guests are local it’s not such a big deal, but still. And it’s not like you had a super long engagement or anything that would have precipitated the “before you for sure” comment. It would be one thing if you had like, a 2 year engagement, and the one brother was just ribbing the other brother in fun. But that’s not really the case here.


I mean, there’s really nothing you can do but just look forward to your own wedding. And more expensive doesn’t always equal better. Some of the most fun weddings I’ve been to have been where the bride and groom are on a budget.

Post # 7
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

This seems odd. Are they going to be back from honeymoon in time for your wedding !?!

All I can say is the same as the bee above who said more expensive definitely doesn’t necessarily equal better. I’m sure your wedding will reflect your own personality and be lovely. 

Post # 8
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
kara2018 :  it’s interesting that you said sister in law, why not brother in law?

Post # 9
9385 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
cherryberrypie :  my impression is that’d be because its her family that is shelling out the big bucks for their wedding, which is what is stressing OP out…

I’m sorry bee, it really sounds like they did choose that date just to spite you two, which is mean and generally just such a strange way to choose a wedding date.

“Was the 24th special to you?” “Yes, it was the best way to stick it to my BIL/SIL! <3”  How romantic!

Focus on your happy day–I’m sure it’ll be lovely, regardless of the budget.  And certainly regardless of the budget of a wedding the week before.

Post # 10
38 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Vineyards

That “before you” comment was pretty rude. Sounds like they are insecure and trying to upstage you. It’s not easy but you just can’t let yourself compare the two. One of my good friends is getting married just before I do, even though I got engaged first and her parents are footing the bill so obviously her wedding is more lavish than mine also. I’m just trying to think of doing little things that money can’t exactly buy to make it special. Including things in the wedding that are uniquely us.

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