Post # 1
My finance and I got engaged over Christmas and set our date (August 24, 2018) within a week. In early january my finance’s brother proposed to his girlfriend. We were happy for them and of course asked the obvious questions, including “So when are you thinking of having the wedding?” His brother said “Before you guys for sure.” I was a bit miffed but i got over it. They were thinking Juy 2018 but wanted more time so they chose August 24, exactly a week before ours. I’m tired of hearing my wedding compared to theirs, especially because my future sister in law’s parents are footing a large portion of the bill and therefore they will be having a far more lavish wedidng then ours. their wedding is in a week and while I am very happy with my wedding plans I am not looking forward to hearing the coomparasions, either from other people of acidentally doing it myself! How can I avoid comparing and feeling bitter towards my soon to be in laws?
Post # 2
Just don’t compare them. There is no point being bitter about when their wedding is or how much is being spent. At the end of the day their wedding is for them and your is for you and your fiance, there is enough happiness to go around.
Post # 3
That is really annoying – but yeah, as PP said – just don’t compare them, especially if they are going to be very different.
That – or everytime you hear someone doing it just yell STFU!
Post # 4
Wow… that is so beyond rude to me.
“Before yours!” That just seems like they are doing it on purpose, are the siblings competitive or something? Or am I being sensitive? One week before yours… My parents would have stepped in and told us that it wasn’t appropriate, to spread them out a bit better and be happy for each other.
Just remember that your wedding is about y’all and to have fun and be happy! There are always going to be people out there spending more $$$ than you, always. Money doesn’t guarantee happiness though, so just enjoy your day!
Post # 5
Wow… that’s honestly such a dick move on their part…
I think it is inconsiderate both of the other couple and of your shared guests to have two weddings in the same immediate family that close together. That just makes for such a drawn out busy period with no time to breathe in between. And it totally sounds like they intentionally chose their date to be as close to but before your date as possible. It kind of sounds like they *want* the comparisons.
I’d be pissed, but I’m not sure there is really anything you can do at this point other than grin and bear it… and try not to think about it during your own wedding.
Did you say anything to them about it when they picked that date??
Post # 6
I am generally much in the camp of, “you get one day”, but….seriously? One WEEK? For two members of the same immediate family? I guess if all overlapping guests are local it’s not such a big deal, but still. And it’s not like you had a super long engagement or anything that would have precipitated the “before you for sure” comment. It would be one thing if you had like, a 2 year engagement, and the one brother was just ribbing the other brother in fun. But that’s not really the case here.
I mean, there’s really nothing you can do but just look forward to your own wedding. And more expensive doesn’t always equal better. Some of the most fun weddings I’ve been to have been where the bride and groom are on a budget.
Post # 7
This seems odd. Are they going to be back from honeymoon in time for your wedding !?!
All I can say is the same as the bee above who said more expensive definitely doesn’t necessarily equal better. I’m sure your wedding will reflect your own personality and be lovely.
Post # 8
it’s interesting that you said sister in law, why not brother in law?
Post # 9
my impression is that’d be because its her family that is shelling out the big bucks for their wedding, which is what is stressing OP out…
I’m sorry bee, it really sounds like they did choose that date just to spite you two, which is mean and generally just such a strange way to choose a wedding date.
“Was the 24th special to you?” “Yes, it was the best way to stick it to my BIL/SIL! <3” How romantic!
Focus on your happy day–I’m sure it’ll be lovely, regardless of the budget. And certainly regardless of the budget of a wedding the week before.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2019 - Vineyards
That “before you” comment was pretty rude. Sounds like they are insecure and trying to upstage you. It’s not easy but you just can’t let yourself compare the two. One of my good friends is getting married just before I do, even though I got engaged first and her parents are footing the bill so obviously her wedding is more lavish than mine also. I’m just trying to think of doing little things that money can’t exactly buy to make it special. Including things in the wedding that are uniquely us.